No Rules
by FantasticMisticalWonder
Summary: When Twyla wished that Gawain would be taken away by goblins, Susan wasn't expecting to have to solve the labyrinth of a spoiled Goblin King. And Jareth certainly wasn't expecting the challenge that Susan would present.
1. I Wish

Okay, this idea just randomly popped into my head one day. Random, I know, I just couldn't help myself. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Susan and Discworld belong to the genius known as Terry Pratchett, and Labyrinth and Jareth belong to Jim Henson. That being said, no need to send your lawyers after me.

* * *

The first world the Gods created was Earth. Now, earth was your straight-up, normal planet. The kind of place where everything had some explanation, and nothing out of the ordinary ever happened. Now, at first the Gods were quite pleased with this new world they created, but they soon grew bored with the simplicity of the planet. I mean, you can only mess with people from a place where their feet are on the ground and their heads out of the clouds so much. So, they created other planets, and other worlds to amuse themselves. One was entirely covered in water, and the other had absolutely no ground or gravity, so the poor inhabitants of that one spent their time floating around aimlessly until their dinner came close enough to them that they could grab a bite before it floated off again. But the gods eventually grew bored with this world, too, and it was out of this extreme divine boredom that the Disc was created.

What is the Disc, you ask? Well, to put it quite simply, if you were to take every single stupid idea that anyone anywhere ever thought, put it in an iron pot and then cooked it for about five seconds until it turned rotten and then poured it on top of your ex-spouse's head, you'd get something similar to the essence of the Disc. Remember when people on Earth thought that their world was flat? Well, the people on the Disc initially thought their world was round, because all of the other planets were like that, until they realized that their world was indeed flat. And when those Earth-snobs thought the sun revolved around them? The sun actually does revolve around the Disc! Now, there are some other strange things about the Discworld as well. For example, the Disc is on the backs of four giant elephants, whose names no one has ever bothered to learn, because we'd probably never be able to pronounce them due to the fact that the elephants have to adopt their language around those giant tusks in their mouths. Us trying to say their names would probably be like you trying to say something with two huge sticks in your mouth, and everything coming out either sounded like a curse word or complete gobbledegook. Are these elephants just walking through space you ask? Good heavens, no, that's ridiculous! No, these elephants reside on the back of a giant turtle swimming through space. The name of this turtle we do know. His name is the Great A'Tuin.

No such place exists, you say. Well, Mr. I-Know-Everything, it appears that you know _so_ much more than me, so why don't you just bugger off and let me tell this story to people who actually care and stop being such a damn prick? There, now that he's gone, I can get on with my story. Occaisonally, the Disc and other worlds have collided (both figuratively and literally, after all, the Disc is on top of a turtle flying through space, he's bound to bump into some planets every once in a while). Mostly, these worlds are alternate dimensions, or parallel universes. This one collision I am about to tell you about, though, has to do with the Disc, and a place whose existence depends entirely on belief . . . .

* * *

It was one of those rainy spring days in the twin city of Ankh-Morpork. The kind where everyone wished it would be sunny out so they could go for walks in the park and smell the budding flowers, but if they tried that now they would just get sopping wet and the only thing they could smell would be wet dog. And because of this, everyone was tired and cross, and yelled at random people for no apparent reason as if it was their fault that it was raining. So, it was quite natural that Mr. and Mrs. Gaiter had gone to someone's birthday party, leaving their nanny, Susan Sto-Helit, to take care of the children Twyla and Gawain.

"Susan! Gawain took my dolly!"

"Did not! Susan! Twyla's lying!"

"Gawain's being a tattler!"

"Twyla's being a double-tattler!"

"Gawain's being a –"

"ENOUGH!" a Voice shouted.

The two children quieted immediately. They knew that Voice. That was the Voice that was normally reserved only for monsters and bogeymen, but that would be used on them if they were being extremely bothersome.

The doorknob of the room jiggled a bit, and the door opened, revealing a woman of about twenty or so, who was attractive in a kind of skinny way. She had pale skin, and curly white hair that was pulled up into a smart bun. A thick streak of black ran through her hair, all the way from the roots to the tips. She had striking bright blue eyes that were currently glaring at the two children.

"Twyla, Gawain, just because your parents are gone does not mean that you can start screaming at each other." Susan said firmly.

"But Gawain stole my dolly," Twyla insisted.

"I did not!" Gawain objected.

"Twyla, what is that in your hand?" Susan asked.

"My dolly," Twyla answered.

"Twyla, if that is your dolly, then Gawain can't have stolen it." Susan said.

"But I found it in his room!" Twyla shouted.

"I didn't put it there!" Gawain cried.

"Then how did it get there?" Twyla replied.

"Maybe the bogeymen wanted to have some fun or something!" Gawain defended.

"And I suppose the goblins took my hairbrush and put it here too?" Twyla asked.

Susan groaned, but stopped. She could have sworn she heard snickering a minute ago. Dismissing it, she returned her attention to the two siblings.

"All right, that's enough. Twyla, it's past your bedtime. Gawain, stop taking your sister's things." Susan said, taking Twyla's arm and leading her to the door.

"But I didn't –"

"GAWAIN," Susan warned.

Gawain clamped his mouth shut, and glared at Twyla who was sticking her tongue out at him. Susan jerked Twyla in the direction of the door and pulled her down the hallway towards her own room. The two siblings had initially shared a bedroom, but their harmless arguments had turned into hair-pulling fights, so they had to be separated.

The finally reached Twyla's room, and Susan checked under the bed for bogeymen before tucking Twyla in.

"I gate him," Twyla grumbled.

"No, you don't." Susan replied.

"Yes I do. He's so annoying and he always takes my stuff and –"

"Twyla," Susan said, "I may not be the best person to give advice on family, but there is one thing I've learned: you may get angry at someone you care about, you may think you hate them, but you'll always forgive them. Because, in the end, they're all you have." Susan said.

"But I have you, don't I Susan?" Twyla asked.

Susan gave Twyla one of her small rare smiles. "Right now, you do. But I won't always be there."

Twyla nodded. "I still wish some bogeymen or goblins would take Gawain away." She murmured.

"Goodnight Twyla," Susan said, exhasperated.

"I do wish it, you know! I really wish something like that would happen, right now." Twyla insisted.

Susan had been halfway towards the door when she stopped. There was something about what Twyla had said. There was power in those words, she could feel it. And she could feel the sudden disturbance. Something was invading her home. Susan had that terrible feeling of deja-vu, and felt something in her stomach drop.

"Stay in your room, Twyla. I'm going to go check on Gawain." Susan said, not letting her worry come into her voice. She calmly walked out of the room and closed the door behind her before running back to Gawain's room. She didn't even bother with the doorknob when she got there, and instead walked straight through the door. And Susan saw what she had been fearing.

Gawain's bed, empty.

Turning around, Susan ran through the door again, and this time ran in the direction of Twyla's room.

"Twyla!" Susan called, going through Twyla's door. Almost immediately, Susan stopped dead in her tracks (no pun intended).

Twyla was sitting up in her bed, staring at her open window. Now, Twyla wasn't staring at the window itself, but instead at the man that was standing there. He was dressed all in black, and at first, Susan thought he was from the Assassin's Guild. But then she noted the impractical long and oddly styled blonde hair, and the vast amounts of glitter on his clothes and the ground around him. He had been smirking at Twyla, but he slowly turned his gaze to Susan.

"Leave us, this does not concern you." The man said.

"Be that as it may, I have no intention of leaving the girl I'm supposed to be looking after alone with a man covered in glitter. Especially not when her brother is missing, which I presume you are to blame for." Susan said coldly, stepping up until she was directly behind Twyla, who was currently sucking her thumb.

The man gave Susan a surprised look. "Me? _I_ didn't wish away the boy." He said, giving Twyla a pointed look.

The girl popped her thumb from her mouth. "Susan's got a poker, you know."

"Really?" the man asked.

Twyla nodded. "Yep. When that man with the sword and the glass eye was over, and he was about to kill that skeleton man eating the biscuit, she –"

"That's enough, Twyla." Susan said.

"Never mind. You needn't worry,_ Susan_ , I'm only here to bring little Twyla something." The man said.

"What is it?" Twyla asked.

With a flourish of his hand, the man held out a crystal ball to the young girl.

"This, my dear Twyla, is a crystal. It'll show you all your dreams." The man said.

"Why would I want it to show me my dreams? I already know them," Twyla said.

"My dear girl, this crystal can show you any dream that you will ever have. Whether it be a dream you've had, are having, or will have." The man said.

Twyla turned to look at Susan. "Can you hit him on the head with the poker Susan?" she asked.

The man seemed to be losing his patience now. "I don't believe you understand what I'm offering you, Twyla. I can give you your _dreams_, Twyla, all you have to do is forget about your brother." The man insisted.

Twyla gave the man a look before turning to look at her governess. "Susan, would Mum and Dad fire you if I let him keep Gawain?" she asked.

"Most likely, yes." Susan replied.

Twyla turned back to look at the man. "Could you bring Gawain back then, please?" Twyla asked, putting on her wide-eyed puppy-dog look that she reserved for when she wanted her parents to give her something. She had long ago stopped trying to use it on Susan, realizing that the white-haired young woman could see right through Twyla's act. And it seems, the man could too.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Twyla. You can't undo what you said. You wished your brother away, so I took him. I can't go back and change what you did." The man said.

Twyla turned again to Susan. "Hit him with the poker, Susan. Make him bring Gawain back."

"I think I might just do that," Susan said.

"I'm afraid threatening me with an iron rod won't change things, my dear Twyla. There are rules that bind me, and they won't allow me to just give you your brother back." The man explained, though he didn't seem the least bit sorry about the situation. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying the whole thing very much.

"But there are always loopholes," Susan said.

The man turned to look at Susan, a light smirk on his face. "Correct, sweet Susan, there are loopholes." He purred.

"Then, since you seem so eager to give Twyla a gift, I suggest you exercise them." She said, a warning in her voice.

"Careful, Susan sounds like she's ready to do the Voice." Twyla warned.

The man ignored Twyla as he stepped off of the window sill, and stepped right up to Susan. Though he was much taller than her, Susan didn't let her glare waver, and icy blue eyes clashed against mismatched green-and-blue. The two glared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, until the man let his gaze wander past Susan and back to Twyla.

"Very well. Twyla, if you want your brother back, all you have to do is solve my labyrinth." The man said.

"You mean like those mazes in the morning paper?" Twyla asked.

"Yes, like those mazes in the morning paper." The man repeated, a smile on his face. It was that smile that made the warning bells go off in Susan's head.

"This labyrinth, is it on paper, or is she going to have to actually walk through it?" Susan asked.

The man turned to look at her, his eyes slightly narrowed. Once more, the two glared at each other, neither backing down, until once more, he was the first to look away.

"When I say that she'll have to solve my labyrinth, I mean the one that which at the center of lies the Goblin City, where my castle and her brother are." The man said.

"You're asking an eight year old girl to go traversing through a labyrinth ridden with goblins?" Susan asked incredulously.

"Do you have a problem with that?" the man asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I won't allow Twyla to do something as dangerous as this." Susan declared.

"But Susan –"

"Which is why I volunteer to take her place." Susan said, cutting off Twyla.

The man seemed to find this extremely amusing, and chuckled, which only riled up Susan even more.

"My dear, dear, Susan. It's not that simple. You can't simply take Twyla's place." He said.

"Watch me," Susan replied.

"The rules don't allow for substitutions." The man said.

"The rules don't allow, or you don't allow?" Susan asked.

"Pardon?" the man asked.

"I mean really, how many times does one sibling wish the other away? And how many times do they actually turn down your crystals in favor of getting their brother or sister back? And even then, how often is it that they even win, or even have a chance of winning? You must be so tired of easy pickings. You never have the chance to throw all you've got at the children, it would be unnecessary. Well hear me right now, you let me try and untangle your labyrinth, and I'll give you a challenge you won't forget." Susan declared, stepping towards the man, her eyes hard and determined.

The man studied her for a moment, his eyes moving from her feet and slowly upwards. Susan supposed that she was supposed to feel uncomfortable, like he was undressing her with his eyes, but she felt nothing of the sort. In fact, her annoyance with this man only grew. He was probably used to young girls turning to butter around him, cowering and swooning over him at the same time. Well, she wasn't some silly fifteen year-old girl. At one time, she may have let her hormones control her thoughts, but being the granddaughter of Death had its perks, one of them being control over those annoying chemicals that seemed to rule most adolescents' and even adults' decisions.

Once the man seemed done with admiring of Susan's appearance, he gave a resigned sigh.

"Well, who am I to resist a challenge, especially one issued by a lovely young woman such as yourself?" he asked, smirking at her.

Susan turned to Twyla. "Twyla, I want you to stay in your room. If any monsters try to bother you, the poker's by the fireplace, you know how to use it."

"Yes, Susan." Twyla said.

Susan gently clapped Twyla on the shoulder, and turned to face the man, who was standing by the window expectantly. He held out his hand to her, and Susan rather reluctantly put her slender pale hand in his gloved one. The man turned to the open window and stepped out of it, pulling Susan with him.

The instant Susan passed the threshold, she found herself not hit with the cold night air, but the rather dry air that one normally encounters in deserts. She found that her feet were planted firmly on dry powdery dirt, and that there was a low yellow sun in the sky, instead of the silvery moon. She also found herself looking at an extremely extensive labyrinth, at which the center of she could make out a large, looming castle.

"That's it then. That's the labyrinth?" Susan asked, turning to look at the man, who was standing with his arms crossed and that annoying smirk on his face.

"Turn back, Susan, turn back before it's too late." He said.

"Well, I would, but it appears that Twyla's bedroom window has disappeared behind me. Now, if you're quite done with the theatrics, I think I'm going to try and solve the damn labyrinth now." Susan snapped.

The man's smirk only grew. "You are by far the most interesting human I have ever met, Susan dear. Though I must say, it is quite rude of you to have challenged and patronized me and yet not to even know my name." the man chastised.

"Well, I'm not exactly expected to have tea and scones with you after this is all done." Susan replied.

The man chuckled. "No, I suppose you're not." He said, before coming up to Susan and pointing at a clock that went from one to thirteen that had materialized on a withered and barren tree.

"You have exactly thirteen hours to solve my labyrinth and make it to my castle, before dear little Gawain becomes a goblin, forever." The man said, turning his head to smirk at Susan one last time before fading away.

Susan didn't even spare the place where he had been a second glance. With a determined set to her jaw, she hiked up her skirt and started towards the labyrinth.

* * *

So, what do you think? First time writing Susan AND Jareth, so I hope they're in character and all. I've read a lot of fanfiction, though, and I watched a few scenes with them in it while writing this chapter to get the feel of their characters. I hope you guys like this! Review please!

~FantasticMisticalWonder


	2. Must Be a Witch, She Is

Here's chapter two everyone! Oh, and I think I should mention something: I'm not expecting this fanfic to be very long. Only a little over five chapters, I'm estimating. I could be wrong, but I don't think it likely that this story will go past ten chapters. I may very well write a sequel in the future, depending on how many people like this story, and how I decide to have it end. Oh! And, I've got an important poll pertaining to this fanfic on my profile that you guys may want to check out. Again, thanks!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Susan and anything else related to the Disc belongs to Terry Pratchett, and Labyrinth and its spoiled Goblin King belongs to Jim Henson. That being said, there is no reason for a lawsuit to be filed against me.

* * *

This labyrinth was already getting on Susan's nerves, and she hadn't even gotten _in_ the damn thing yet. Susan tried to not let her frustration show, knowing that the Glitter Man was watching her. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her upset, or of seeing any emotion coming from her. Call it juvenile, but there was just something about that glittering bastard that rubbed Susan the wrong way.

Of course, Susan would have a hard time concealing her frustration if she couldn't even find the damn way into the labyrinth! Pursing her lips, Susan looked around, seeing only little fairies flitting around the bushes. Ignoring the little winged devils, Susan concentrated hard on the wall in front of her. Maybe there was a concealment spell there or something. She supposed she could always exercise her . . . talents, but she wanted to keep those in reserve, didn't want to let the Glitter Man become aware of her abilities. She had a feeling that if he knew about them, he would find some way to make sure that she couldn't use them.

Susan let a sigh escape her mouth, and put her hands on her hips. "I don't suppose me saying 'Open up' will do anything?" Susan asked.

The walls didn't respond.

Susan frowned. She could always try the Voice, but she didn't want to even let that power become known. No, there had to be another way into the labyrinth, otherwise, what was the point? The Glitter Man didn't seem like the type to play by the rules, and she guessed that he would most certainly cheat if he thought it necessary, but making the game impossible to win? No, there were rules against that, ancient rules that even he couldn't break. Rules that bound even Death itself.

With a start, Susan realized that she didn't even know if Death existed in this place. For all she knew, this labyrinth could be like the Tooth Fairy's castle. And she didn't want to find out by walking face-first into a wall, and not going through it. That would certainly give the Glitter Man a good laugh. She didn't _feel_ any different, like a part of her was missing, but then again, she didn't notice much of a change in the Tooth Fairy's castle either.

Shaking her head and deciding to come back to that problem later, Susan returned to the issue of entering the labyrinth. There had to be a hidden gate, or some sort of password that revealed the doorway. Susan supposed that she could ask the fairies, but from what she knew of them, they were useless vain creatures that could be pretty mean when they saw fit. She figured that she wouldn't get any help from them.

"Eh, another Quester, eh?" a gruff voice asked.

Susan turned around, and then looked down to find a dwarf standing before her. He had some sort of can in his hand that he was using to spray the fairies with. As soon as they were touched by the mixture, they floated down to the ground, unconscious. Susan almost commented on how he was the first dwarf she had ever seen without a beard, but thought better of it. For all she knew it could be some sort of condition. Best not to bring it up.

"Good day, goodman dwarf. Would you tell me how to get into the labyrinth?" Susan asked politely.

The dwarf looked up at her, an impressed look on his face. "And a Quester with a brain, too! You're the first one to ask the right question, girly."

"I know how important words are," Susan said.

The dwarf nodded his head in agreement. "Aye, that they are." He agreed. And with a wave of his hand, a gate that Susan was sure hadn't been there a moment ago opened.

"M'name's Hoggle, by the way." The dwarf said.

"Nice to meet you, Hoggle. I'm Susan."

"You got my name right, too!" Hoggle exclaimed.

"No use saying it if I'm not sure it's right," Susan murmured.

"Truer words have never been spoken." Hoggle said.

"Thank you for your help, but I really must be on my way." Susan said, walking towards the opening.

"Don't mention it! Really, I don't want no trouble." Hoggle said.

Susan nodded before fully passing into the labyrinth. She knew without looking that the opening had disappeared behind her, and instead turned her attention to the pathways before her. In front of her was wall, and there were only two ways she could go: right, and left. Susan looked down both paths. They were exactly the same, it would be considerably easier if they were at least moderately different. And she couldn't even see the castle from her position, the wall was too high. And so sighing and praying to whatever gods she thought would be useful, Susan turned and went left.

Though she couldn't see them, Susan knew that she passed several pathways on her trek down the path. But she ignored them; something just didn't feel right about them. She figured that her heritage let her know if a pathway would lead to certain death, but then again, she supposed that it wouldn't be warning her if she was supposed to die in this labyrinth. Susan quickly dismissed this grim thought, and continued to walk at a brisk pace down the path, ignoring the many alternative ways she passed.

She didn't know how long she had been walking for when she finally came across a path that felt right. It wasn't a sudden revelation or anything, just that feeling of not right wasn't around this pathway. And so Susan turned and walked down the new way. The scenery around her changed almost instantly. No longer was she walking down a barren and dry path. No, she was suddenly walking down a brightly lit and disgustingly cheerful path. And by disgustingly cheerful, I mean like a cup of tea with twice its weight in sugar in it. It was the kind of path that you would expect a beautiful blond princess to prance through whilst singing in a ridiculously high voice. There were brightly colored flowers, the greenest trees she had ever seen, and tiny little finches trilling sweetly. Susan felt rather out of place in her dreary black governess's attire, but ignored it. Getting Gawain back was more important than fitting in in a damn labyrinth. Susan might have been a little strange, but at least she had her priorities straight.

Susan's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of singing. Susan turned around to a pathway that was running perpendicular to the one she was currently on, and saw seven dwarfs marching her way, pickaxes slung over their shoulders. Susan couldn't make out all of the words to the song, but from what she could hear, it was something about going from home to work and mining. When the first dwarf saw Susan, he stopped, and all of the other dwarfs bumped into him, stopping as well.

"Look! It's a princess!" the first one shouted.

Immediately, the other dwarfs stopped their cursing, and looked at Susan with interest.

"Well, it's about time." One muttered.

"I'll say! How long have we waited for one to come by?" another said.

"Pardon me, but I'm afraid you've made a mistake, I'm not a princess." Susan said.

"Sure ya are! You've got the fancy hair, and the pale skin and all!" one shouted.

"Yeah! And now you've got to come to our house and cook and clean for us!" another dwarf added, a triumphant grin on his face.

"I'm sorry, but I've got things to do, and playing house-keeper for seven little men isn't one of them." Susan said firmly.

"But how else are you going to stay safe from the Evil Queen?" a dwarf asked.

"I think I'll manage," Susan replied, turning away from the dwarfs and starting to walk down the road again.

"Now, wait a minute!" a dwarf shouted, suddenly appearing in front of her, his six companions also appearing behind him.

"We can't let ya pass, girly." The dwarf growled.

"Yeah, it's against the dwarf code of conduct to let a pretty girl go on her own." Another dwarf agreed.

"You're not goin any–"

"LET ME PASS," Susan demanded.

The dwarfs stared at her for a second, their eyes wide, and they quickly scrambled to get out of her way. Glaring at them, Susan strode past them quickly but that didn't stop her from hearing snippets of their conversations about her.

"Bet she's a witch, she is."

"Good thing we saw through her, eh lads?"

"Probably would have poisoned all of our apples, she would."

Susan had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, but found herself much more at ease once she had followed a path that lead away from the sickeningly cheerful road. Well, that was part of the cat out of the bag. However, Susan wasn't as worried about the Glitter Man knowing about the Voice as much as she was about him knowing about her ability to walk through walls, become unnoticeable, and stop time. No, she would save _those_ particular abilities for emergencies. Until then, she would go solving this labyrinth the old fashioned way. If there _was_ an old fashioned way to go about solving a magical labyrinth.

"My, my Susan. You're just getting more and more interesting by the minute." A smooth voice said.

Susan inwardly groaned and turned around to find the Glitter Man leaning against one of the walls of the labyrinth, twirling a crystal through his fingers.

"Can I help you with something?" Susan asked.

"Who, me? No, not at all, I just came to make sure the lovely young woman who decided to take a trip through my labyrinth was doing all right." The man said, smirking at her.

Susan just stood there and blinked for an instant before turning on heal and walking away. However, she soon found the Glitter Man in front of her, having appeared to have materialized out of thin air. He was giving her a disapproving frown.

"Yes?" Susan asked.

"That was very impolite," the man chastised.

"Excuse me, but I'm on a very tight schedule, and I don't have time for social calls." Susan said, walking around the man. However, it wasn't too long before he materialized in front of her again.

"_Will_ you stop doing that?" he asked, irritated.

"Look, could we talk _after_ I'm done with this?" Susan asked, exasperated.

"Oh, we could, but I believe you expressed a desire to _not_ have tea and scones with me." The man reminded her, a light smirk appearing on his sharp features.

"And exactly how is your stopping me trying to get through this damn labyrinth going to help your cause?" Susan asked.

The Glitter Man's smirk only grew larger. "You are a gem, my dear Susan." He purred.

"I would appreciate it if you would let me go on my way," Susan said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, but what would be the fun –"

"LET ME PASS YOU GLITTERING FOOL," Susan growled, her words coming out through the Voice by accident.

The man raised one of his angular eyebrows in surprise. "That is quite a talent you have there. How on earth do you manage to make a voice like that come out of your pretty little throat?" he asked.

"I have lots of practice. Children like it when you do funny voices. Now, if you please –"

The man stepped aside and gestured with his hand. "By all means, who am I to keep a lovely young woman from her destination?" he asked.

Susan was tempted to give him a withering look, but decided that would only give him more cause to talk to her – something she did not have time for – and continued on her way.

* * *

Jareth watched the white-haired young woman walk until she was out of sight, and then turned to look at the seven dwarfs looking expectantly at him.

"Didn't we tell you, Your Majesty?" one of them asked.

"There's somethin' unnatural about her."

"Do you think she's a witch, Your Majesty?"

"And what about that Voice? I'm thinkin' she's been possessed by one of em' demons."

"Oh, stop that blabbering, all of you," Jareth snapped.

The dwarfs instantly shut up, but they still looked at their King with expectant eyes.

"Yes, there is something strange about her. I'm not entirely sure she's a witch, but she certainly acts and dresses like one. All she's missing is that pointy hat they all seem so proud of. And I don't think a witch would be spending her time as a governess."Jareth mused, mostly to himself and not to the seven little men standing beside him.

"What're you going to do about her, Your Majesty?" one of the dwarfs asked.

Jareth looked down at the dwarfs in surprise. "_Do_ about her? Why should I bother? Witch or not, she still won't make it through my labyrinth. In fact, I think her stay is just about up." Jareth said.

"Why is that, Your Majesty?" a dwarf asked.

Jareth grinned, showing his pointed canines. "She's headed right for the Swamp of Souls."

The dwarfs shuddered. "But, Your Majesty, no one's ever made it out of the Swamp of Souls alive." One of them said.

Jareth gave the dwarf a pointed look.

"Oh, oh I see. Very clever Your Majesty," the dwarf said hurriedly.

Jareth sniffed. "Of course," Jareth then sighed. "Still, such a shame, she was such an interesting human. Oh well, I suppose some things can't be helped." And with that final note, Jareth disappeared in a cloud of glitter.

* * *

Susan had been walking for some time when she noticed the disturbance. The place she was walking to, something terrible had happened there. There was this feeling in her bones that told her to avoid this place. Susan looked around, but discovered that there were, for once, no alternative paths. She supposed she could go back, but that would mean a good amount of time wasted, and she didn't want to risk running into the Glitter Man or the dwarfs again. So, with a sigh, and a growing feeling of dread in her stomach, Susan continued walking.

The drop in temperature was the first thing that Susan noticed. The air had gotten considerably cooler, and there was mist hanging in the air. Susan also felt the path become craggy and broken, like it hadn't been tended to in a long time. Susan was wondering when the sun had suddenly disappeared when she heard them. Voices. Tortured and sorrowful voices. Any normal person would have been so frightened by now, that they would have turned on tail and run, but Susan was no ordinary person, and it took a great deal to spook her – as the Tooth Fairy, or rather, the Bogeyman, had discovered. So Susan continued to walk briskly down the broken path, and by some instinct in her bones, she kept her eyes trained on the path in front of her, not looking at the scenery she was passing by.

As Susan got farther down the path, the voices grew louder, and the air grew cooler and the mist heavier, until it could be classified more correctly as fog. It was when the path was almost impossible to walk in when Susan saw the first of the Ghosts.

At first, she thought it was a trick of the darkness and the fog, but it slowly neared her, and Susan realized that it was actually there, not a mistake of her eyes. It appeared to be a small, reptilian creature wearing some type of armor, and at first, Susan thought that its lack of a second arm was part of the natural anatomy of the creature. But as it neared her, Susan realized that its arm had been rather brutally cut off, and that it was pierced with arrows. Oh, and that it was indeed quite dead.

The creature continued to float towards Susan until it was right in front of her, and it propelled itself upwards until its small, scaly face was right in front of her before opening its mouth to reveal craggy, broken teeth and unleashing a horrible, tortured scream. Once it was done, it turned and floated off into the mist.

Susan watched it as it floated off, and then turned her attention back to the path, walking at a much brisker pace now. She may not have been scared, but she was a little disturbed. Ghosts were not a new concept to her, and – being who she was – she often saw and even conversed with the few she saw. They sometimes made better company than people. But there was something different about the ghosts she could feel haunting this place. They weren't supposed to be here. Whatever was keeping them here, it wasn't an unfinished priority or a need for revenge. No, it was something else entirely.

As Susan got further down the path, she came across more ghosts, all of them seeming to be reptilian creatures, and all of them seeming to have died in a sort of battle or attack, due to the general missing of body parts, and the swords and arrows sticking out of them in various places. Susan had a feeling that this place had once been full of life, but something had happened, something to turn it into this haunted place.

Eventually, Susan reached a lake. She looked along the shoreline, and found a rickety looking raft some few feet to her left. Susan cautiously walked up to it, and picked up the pole before gently nudging it onto the lake and quickly stepping onto it before it drifted off. Susan dipped the pole into the water, and pushed off from the shore, slowly beginning her way across the water. However, Susan was well away from the shore when she noticed the faces in the water.

There were faces of all kinds, not just the reptilian ones she had seen on the ghosts (well, most of the ghosts, some of them had no heads). There were the faces of dwarfs, of bird-like creatures, and others resembling bears and foxes, a mask of fear on every face. But, most disturbing of all were the human faces she saw. They were both young and old, male and female. But Susan knew they all had one thing in common.

They were Questers.

These faces belonged to people who had also tried to brave the labyrinth to save one they had unintentionally wished away.

**Yes. These were Questers, just like you.**

Slowly, Susan looked up and found herself looking at what appeared to be a reptilian figure, although this one was much larger than the others. It had an incredible air of sorrow and pain around it, and its eyes conveyed just how deep its sorrow ran.

**This was once a happy place, the most joyful land in the entire Labyrinth, and I was its ruler. We treated all with hospitality, be it Goblin or Quester. But then one came who doubted everything he saw. He had been tricked many times by the Goblin King, and he did not know what to trust. So, when he came here, his heart was filled with suspicion and he thought we were but another trap. So, he sent a false letter of insult to our enemies, the Fire Dancers, and for once they kept their heads on their shoulders and attacked us in outrage. We were destroyed. Before I was slain, in my sorrow and my anger, I vowed that this place would forever be cursed by the ghosts of my people, so that neither Quester nor Goblin could ever pass through. I wanted the entire Labyrinth to know of my people's slaughter, I did not want them to forget us.** The specter said, its eyes glowing red with its rage.

"I suppose you'll want to kill me now," Susan said.

The specter considered Susan for a moment before speaking. **No, normally no one gets as far as the lake, they all drop dead from fear long before they get here. Some few make it this far, but they usually just fall into the lake. You are the first to not. I can tell that you are not frightened by this.**

"You can't exactly be squeamish when you've got a family like mine." Susan said.

The specter regarded Susan with a thoughtful air. **I think . . . that I shall let you live. It is quite possible that you will solve this labyrinth. I would never forgive myself if I let a chance to humiliate the Goblin King pass by. No, you shall leave my swamp unharmed, so long as you vow to finish your Quest. **

"I promise," Susan said, looking the specter straight in its red eye.

The two stared at each other for a long time before the specter nodded.

**Very well. The spirits of my people shall not harm you.**

And they didn't. Susan crossed the lake, and made it out of the swamp without the sight of another ghost. And before long, she was walking in dry air under the warm sun, relieved to have gotten out of the haunted swamp. However, Susan was actually glad that she had gone through the swamp. For now, she was sure of one thing.

Death existed here.

* * *

Aaaaaand scene! What'd ya think? Just so you know, the seven dwarfs were actually looslely based off of the dwarfs in Witches Abroad, and the Swamp of Souls was based off of Maragor from the Belgariad. Just as a little background: Maragor was this happy place that was looked after by the god Mara, until the Tolnedrans got word of the gold in the rivers of Maragor, and decided to attack Maragor so they could have the gold for themselves. They completely wiped out the Marags, but Mara got so mad, that he cursed the land of Maragor, so that the ghosts of the Marags would forever haunt it so no one could get the gold. Basically anyone who tried went insane, and Mara spent the rest of his time in the center of what used to be Maragor crying his divine guts out. So, yeah, there you go. I decided to do something a little scary that would totally freak Sarah out but would only bother Susan a little. Oh, and just so you know, I'm not entirely sure whether or not I'll make Hoggle a main character or not. That's it! Check out the poll on my profile! Oh! And I've got the poster for No Rules on my profile as well! Check that out too!

~FantasticMisticalWonder


	3. Crivens!

ANOTHER chapter? :O I know, right, this is probably the quickest I've ever updated on ANY story! I guess I'm just really into it right now. So, yeah, that's about all I've got to say right now.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, yada yada yada. All rights belong to either Jim Henson or Terry Pratchett. Don't sue me, you know the drill.

* * *

Jareth stared into the crystal pensively, ignoring the chaos currently going on in the throne room. He had learned to tune out the goblins quickly after his coronation, and even if he hadn't, Jareth suspected that he wouldn't hear them anyways. The reason for this, was the white-haired governess traveling through his labyrinth.

"My, my, Sweet Susan, you certainly weren't lying when you said you would present a challenge." Jareth murmured.

"What was that, Your Majesty?" a goblin asked.

Jareth barely flicked his eyes from the crystal to look at the creature who spoke. "She's made it past the Swamp of Souls." Jareth said.

Instantly, the throne room was silent, something that usually didn't happen unless the goblins had passed out from too much wine, and even then, there was the issue of snores.

"How on earth . . ."

". . . no one's _ever_ made it past there . . . ."

". . . must be a _witch_ or something. . ."

"What are you going to do about her, Your Majesty?" a goblin asked.

Jareth looked up, his gloved hand still holding his chin thoughtfully. "Do? She made it past the Swamp of Souls, yes. That just means she has an unusual immunity to fear. That doesn't mean she's going to be able to find her way through the labyrinth." Jareth said.

"But, your Majesty, going through the Swamp of Souls is one of the shortcuts to your castle, she's already almost halfway here . . ."

"I know that very well, but I can assure you she won't find any more shortcuts that easily." Jareth snapped.

There were some doubtful murmurs amongst the goblins, but none of them presented their thoughts to the King. However, one voice rose above the others.

"Susan's going to kick your butt," the voice of a child said.

All of the goblins turned to look at a small boy who was standing at the end of the room, his arms crossed. Jareth slowly stood up from his throne.

"Oh, and what makes you so sure, little Gawain?" Jareth asked.

"Susan always wins against the monsters," the boy replied.

"And what makes you so sure that I'm a monster?" Jareth asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Your eyes are funny, like that creepy man with the sword Susan killed last Hogswatch. And you've got pointed teeth." Gawain said.

Jareth tilted his head to the side in a very owlish manner. "I keep on hearing about that man with the odd eyes and the sword, would you care to tell me what happened?" Jareth asked.

Gawain took a deep breath. "Well, last Hogswatch when Twyla went to go get our stockings, she came back and said that there was a skeleton man out in the front room. She wanted to go out and see Susan beat him with the poker, but then we saw our toys, so we started playing with them when Susan called us out. We went out, and Susan was there, and there was also the skeleton man, but he really wasn't that scary. He was just standing there eating a biscuit. And there was also this creepy man with this sword, and he had a glass eye. He got all up in our faces and was telling us how creepy the skeleton was, but I said he was just bones, and that he was the creepy one. And then Susan was going to hit him with the kettle, but he saw her try so he made her put it down. He got up in our faces again, and was talking about how creepy he could be, and then he moved _really _fast and was going to kill the skeleton with the sword, but Susan got her poker and threw it at the creepy man, and it went right through the skeleton, and it killed the creepy man." Gawain then put his thumb in his mouth, signifying that he was done.

Jareth considered this story before speaking. "I wonder, why did the poker go through the skeleton?" he asked.

Gawain popped his thumb out of his mouth. "The poker only kills monsters," he said before re-inserting his thumb.

Jareth nodded, like this made all the sense in the world, and looked down at the crystal in his hands. "Gawain, would you like to see Susan?" he said suddenly.

Gawain nodded, and Jareth gestured for the boy to come foreward. Gawain walked through the multitude of goblins and came right up to Jareth's throne. The Goblin King then held the crystal in front of Gawain's face, so that the boy could see his governess as she walked through his labyrinth.

"Have you been spying on her?" Gawain asked.

Jareth gave Gawain a pained look. "Spying is such an ugly word, Gawain. I prefer to think of it as checking up on her."

"I don't think Susan would like that." Gawain said.

"Susan doesn't have to know," Jareth replied.

Gawain didn't answer, and continued to suck on his thumb as he looked in the crystal.

"You don't seem very scared here, Gawain." Jareth commented.

"Susan says, don't get scared; get angry." Gawain said. Then, as a sort of an afterthought, he stomped on Jareth's foot before turning around and walking away.

Jareth blinked and looked down at his toe. "Ouch," he commented.

* * *

_I really ought to start wearing another color besides black,_ Susan thought as she walked through the labyrinth. Though she had been happy to get out of the Swamp of Souls and back into warm sunlight, she soon found that she was getting overheated in her heavy governess' attire. However, she wasn't so uncomfortable that she was going to result to using her abilities to change clothes. That would be completely unnecessary, a complete waste of her powers, and she wasn't even sure if she could do any other color besides black.

Susan blinked as she heard a clucking, and she saw a black chicken walking down the path perpendicular to her own. Susan was about to just dismiss it as another strange part of the labyrinth and continue walking, when she heard what sounded like many chickens, and saw a whole flock of them come running and flapping down the same path that their comrade had just gone by. And over the sound of the chickens, she could hear what sounded like warrior cries.

"Oi! Don't let them get away!"

"Ye've almoost got one, Big Yan!"

"Ach, Crivens! They're moovin' too fast fer me!"

And it was then that Susan saw the men chasing the chickens. They had blue skin, red hair and beards, they seemed to be wearing kilts, and they were only about six inches tall. The biggest one seemed to have managed to get on a chicken, and was trying without success to force it to stop. Eventually, he lost hold and fell of the chicken, and it ran clucking away. The blue men let out a string of curses, but all stopped when one shouted.

"Oi! Now look what you've done, you ninnies! What are we gooin' too eat now, eh?" one of the blue men asked, who seemed to be the leader. All of the other men shrank away from him in fear, even the biggest one. The man glared at them all.

"But, Rob, it wasn't oor fault . . ."

"Shut oop, Daft Wullie!" the leader of the men snapped, glaring.

One of the small men holding bagpipes looked up, and his eyes grew big.

"Rob! It's one oof them big jobs!" he shouted, pointing at Susan.

Rob spun around, and when he saw Susan, his eyes narrowed.

"Ach, Crivens! I thoot we 'ad left em all be'ind!" he cursed.

"She's wearin' all blook, do ya think she's one oof them lawyers?" a man whispered in Rob's ear.

Rob's eyes opened wide, and he quickly pulled out his sword and began inspecting it. However, he seemed satisfied with what he saw, but kept his sword out.

"Nah, she's nae lawyer." Rob said, and all of the tiny men let out sighs of relief.

"Ah, good, I almost wet ma ain keelt," Daft Wullie sighed.

"What did I tell ye about openin' yer mouth, Daft Wullie?" Rob growled.

"Eh, not to do it, Rob?" Daft Wullie said.

"So why'd ye open yer mouth?" Rob asked.

Daft Wullie shrunk in fright. "But I wus just sayin', Rob . . ."

"Ye was just sayin' sometin' stoopid. Now shut oop, Daft Wullie." Rob snapped.

Daft Wullie hung his head. Rob glared at him for a moment before returning his attention to Susan. He stomped up until he was right in front of her, and he glared up at her.

"Oi! Now, what ye'd be dooin in oor's terra . . . terri . . . . eh . . . this is oor place, an yer nae supposed ta be here!" Rob shouted.

"I don't intend to stay, I assure you. I'm just passing through." Susan said.

"Nae one passes withoot oor permi . . . . perme . . . . ye can't pass with out oor say so!" Rob replied.

Susan raised an eyebrow. "May I pass then?" she asked.

Rob had apparently not been expecting this, and he turned to look at the other blue men.

"Eh, can we?" he asked.

"I doon't ken!"

"I was not askin' ye, Daft Wullie!" Rob shouted.

"But you –"

"Shut up before I clot ye on yer heid, Daft Wullie," Rob shouted before turning back to Susan.

"I, eh, don't suppose ye wood consider challengin' oos to a battle, wood ye?" Rob asked hopefully.

"Afraid not. I'm on a very tight schedule." Susan said apologetically.

Rob's face fell. "Oh, eh, well then . . . what do ye think, boys? An I'm nae askin' ye, Daft Wullie!" Rob snapped.

"There's nae rules against letting the gal past if she asks nicely, which she did, Rob." The man with the bagpipes said.

Rob scratched his red beard. "Weeeeeell, I supooose it's alright, then. Eh, sorry aboot the hold-oop, lass." Rob said, seeming a little embarrassed.

Susan nodded her head. "That's quite all right. Now I should really be on my way." Susan said, stepping carefully around the small blue man.

"Oi! Ye heard the lass, lads! Oot of her way!" Rob shouted.

The men instantly complied, hurrying to get out of Susan's way. The white-haired young woman nodded her head at them as she walked past them, and she could hear their bickering and cries of "Crivens!" long after she could no longer see them. Susan had been walking for who knows how long when she came to a place where the walls were slightly lower, and just above them, she could see the castle.

"Well, there's an improvement," Susan said dryly, looking at the multitude of paths before her, and choosing one at random. She briefly considered somehow marking her path, and then thought against it. They would most likely be changed or taken away just to confuse her. No, it was best to not mark her path. Besides, she had nothing to mark her path _with_. So she just kept on walking with purpose, very aware that every minute she spent dawdling was a minute wasted. Her encounters with the dwarfs, the Glitter Man, the ghosts, and the tiny blue men had all delayed her journey. And it seemed that she was to be interrupted again.

"How are you liking my labyrinth, Sweet Susan?" a voice purred.

Susan didn't stop, didn't even falter in her step. She ignored the voice and continued walking confidently until the Glitter Man appeared before her in a cloud of glitter. Susan gave him an exasperated look before making to walk around him, but he simply stepped sideways, blocking her path. Susan then tried to get around him the other way, but he blocked that pathway as well.

"What is it?" Susan asked, irritated.

"I do believe I asked you a question, Susan dear." The man reminded her.

"You really went through all this trouble just to ask me what I thought of this damn labyrinth?" Susan demanded.

The Glitter Man held up his hands defensively. "Can you blame me for trying to gain the attentions of a beautiful young woman?" he asked.

Susan glared at him and once more made to get past him, but he merely stepped in front of her.

"Well, if you really must know, I have no quarrel with this labyrinth. In fact, I find it much more agreeable than the glittering bastard who keeps on getting in my way." Susan snapped.

An offended look came onto the man's face. "I'm hurt, Susan, I truly am. How on earth am I supposed to win your affections if you like my labyrinth more than me?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"Stop getting in my way," Susan answered.

The man considered this answer, and a smirk slowly worked its way onto his face. "I have a much better idea, actually." And with that, he pointed his finger at a clock hanging on the wall. It was currently pointed at the nine, but he slightly moved his finger, and the hand moved down to the six. Susan stared at the clock in dismay.

"You've got to be kidding me," she said.

The man only smirked at her. "Let's see how much you like my labyrinth now, Sweet Susan," he said, slowly backing up as he faded away along with the clock beside him.

Susan stared after him, her fists clenched at her sides. She felt like she was just about to let lose a string of foul curses, when it seems that someone else beet her to it.

"Crivens! Did ye see what he just did there?"

"Aye, that I did."

". . . nae _right_ . . ."

". . . worse tha' a _lawyer_, he is . . ."

Susan spun around, and found the little blue men she had run into previously looking in on her from behind a corner. Susan crossed her arms and glared at them.

"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

The blue men looked up at her in surprise, and almost immediately the fell down in fear.

"Waily waily! It's the Foldin' O' the Arms!" they cried.

"Oi, shut oop ye ninnies!" Rob shouted, going to the front and looking up at Susan, smiling.

"Well, ye see here, lass, we talked it over, an' we figured ye bein one of em Questers, an' I thinks 'We ought to 'elp the poor lass, an be's gentlemen an' all.'" Rob explained.

Susan raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she said.

"That, an' yer bound to find moore trooble, an' chasin' chickens gets old after a while," Daft Wullie said.

Rob turned around and glared at the small man. "Yer openin' yer mouth again Daft Wullie!" he shouted.

"I really appreciate the sentiments, but I think I'll be better off on my own." Susan replied.

"Oi! But, eh, we's kens the ways throo the twisty!" Rob shouted.

Susan started. "You mean the labyrinth?" she asked.

"Ye bet yer kilt we do!" Rob shouted proudly.

"Well, how do I get through it?" Susan asked.

"Oi, it's easy, ye just gots to do the crawstep!" Rob shouted.

"The crawstep?" Susan repeated.

Rob nodded. "If ye's in a hurry. All ye gots ta do, is crawstep ta some other place, an' then ye can crawstep to the castle nae problem!" Rob explained.

"What other place?" Susan asked.

"Oi, it don't matter nane." Rob said.

"What is crawstepping, actually?" Susan asked.

"It's movin froom place ta place!" Rob said.

"Then, why can't you just crawstep to the palace from here?" Susan asked.

"Ye can't crawstep _inside _the same place, for that's we's got feets." Rob explained.

"How do you crawstep?" Susan asked.

"It's all in the ankle, ye ken." Rob said, sticking out a blue foot.

Susan's eyes narrowed. "This crawstepping, is it only something that . . . what are you, actually?" Susan asked, suddenly curious.

Rob puffed out his chest in pride. "We's the Nac Mac Feegles! The Wee Free Men! Also ken as pictsies." Rob said.

Susan's eyes narrowed. "Shouldn't you be in Fairyland then?" she asked.

"Oh, we was banished by the Fairy Queen fer drinkin' too much." Daft Wullie said, smiling.

"Doon't open yer mouth Daft Wullie! Don't listen ta him. Noes, we rebe . . .reba . . . we's fight the Fairy Queen! So we's leave Fairyland, an' we's come here. Gooblins don' mind us nane." Rob said.

Susan nodded "And I'm guessing that this crawstepping is only something a Feegle can do, am I correct?" Susan asked.

"Eh, I think soes." Rob said.

Susan sighed. "Well, that's no help," she muttured.

"Boot! We ca' still help! We ca' protect ye froom the dangers o' this ere twisty." Rob said.

"I can take care of myself, and besides, you couldn't even capture a chicken." Susan said.

"Those was gooblins chickens, theys smarter than the oother kin'." Rob defended.

"And we'll be running across goblins, who I'm guessing are smarter than their chickens." Susan said.

"Eh, I woodn't be too sure o' that." Rob said.

Susan sighed and considered the Feegles. She had heard vaguely of them, and from what she did hear, they were extremely strong, extremely rowdy, and brave to the point of stupidity. They could end up being useful though . . . .

"Alright," Susan decided "You can come with me. But you have to promise _not _to get in my way. I've lost too much time as it is." Susan said.

Rob beamed at Susan. "Ye willn't be regre . . . ye willn't be soorry! M'name's Rob Anybody, by they way." Rob said.

Susan nodded at Rob. "Nice to meet you Rob. I'm Susan, Susan Sto-Helit." Susan said.

Rob nodded at her in response. "An over here's Big Yan, (the largest Feegle), Awfully Wee Billy Bigchin (the Feegle with the bagpipes), Medium Jock, Wee Jock, No'-As-Big-As-Medium-Sized-Jock-But-Bigger-than-Wee-Jock Jock, Daft Wullie, an . . . Crivens! Where's Horace?" Rob demanded.

The other Feegles looked around, but seemed to have no success in finding the Feegle named Horace.

"Oi! I found him!" Awfully Wee Billy Bigchin shouted.

The other Feegles rushed over to where Billy was, and it appeared that the Feegle known as Horace was hiding behind a corner.

"Oi, nae need ta be shy," Billy said soothingly.

"Horace, come on' oot here ye stinkin' piece o' moldy cheese!" Rob shouted.

And it turns out, Horace was a piece of moldy cheese. Or, to be more specific, what appeared to be a wedge of Lancre Blue Cheese. Susan supposed that he was the right height and color, and the Feegles had even outfitted him with his own kilt. And it seemed that Horace was able to move all on his own. Susan privately hoped – for Horace and Feegle's sakes – that the Death of Rats never showed his skeletal face.

"So, ye've met all of the Clan – weeell, except fer Hamish, boot he's up there on his birdie keepin' watch fer us." Rob said, pointing up to the sky where Susan could just make out the speck of a circling bird.

"Alright then, now that we're all done with the introductions, I think we'd better get a move on if I'm to solve this damn labyrinth in six hours."

* * *

And that's about it! So, yes, the Feegles are now recurring characters. Sorry if you can't understand them. If you have any trouble deciphering what it is they're saying, just email me. But just so you know, "ken" is how they say "know". I did a lot of research on them for this chapter. And some of the characters from the original movie might make appearances, but I don't think they'll be going along with Susan. So, yeah, sorry if you were hoping Hoggle was going to be making another appearance. Sir Didymus and Ludo might be appearing, but only the Nac Mac Feegles will be going along with Susan. :D I love those little blue pictsies. Check out the poll and poster on my profile if you haven't already! That's about it!

~FantasticMisticalWonder


	4. Riddles

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Susan, the Feegles, and anything else related to Discworld belong to Terry Pratchett. Jareth, the Labyrinth, and anything else affiliated with it belong to Jim Henson.

* * *

Jareth stared pensively into the crystal. Hmm, she was just getting more and more interesting by the second.

"How's the witch doing, Your Majesty?" A goblin asked.

"She's allied herself with the Nac Mac Feegles." Jareth replied, a smile tugging on his lips.

The goblins stared at him for a moment before bursting out laughing.

"Did you send them to her, Your Majesty?" A goblin asked.

"No, but I certainly wish I had. They'll slow her down more than anything else in this Labyrinth." Jareth said, smiling.

"What are Snack Smack Feegles?" Gawain asked.

Jareth turned and smiled at the little boy. "The Nac Mac Feegles, little Gawain, are pictsies. They are the rowdiest, and most war-like of the fairies." Jareth said.

"Why are they in Goblinland then? Shouldn't they be in Fairyland, with the Fairy Queen?" Gawain asked.

"Oh, they were originally. But they were so rowdy, and they fought and got drunk so often, that the fairies were fed-up with them, and the Fairy Queen kicked them out of Fairyland." Jareth explained.

"That wasn't very nice," Gawain commented.

"No, it wasn't. But I was feeling generous, and I let the Feegles take up residence in my Labyrinth instead. It's no Fairyland, mind you, but the Feegles seemed to like it." Jareth said.

"They're going to help Susan kick your butt." Gawain said.

Jareth smiled at Gawain. "I think you'll find that the Feegles will prove to be quite a handful to Sweet Susan."

"Susan'll straighten em' out. She always does." Gawain insisted.

Jareth just smiled. "We'll see, Young Gawain, we'll see."

* * *

Susan had barely been traveling with the Feegles for ten minutes, and she was already beginning to second-guess her choice to let them tag along. They were noisy, rowdy, and they annoyed her to no end. And she was pretty sure that Bilious was more sober than they were. And he was the Oh God of Hangovers for Disc's sake.

At last, when it seemed that the Feegles had decided to start a bar-less brawl, Susan turned around and glared at the tiny blue men.

"That's enough of that," she snapped.

The Feegles didn't respond.

Susan sighed. "I _said_, stop it already!"

The Feegles continued to fight.

"STOP FIGHTING." Susan growled.

The Feegles immediately stopped, and looked up at her in an almost irritated way.

"Oi! Can ye nae see we're in the middle o' somethin'?" Medium-Sized Jock asked irritably.

"I can see you're wasting my time with senseless brawling." Susan said, crossing her arms.

Immediately, the Feegles fell to the ground. "O Waily Waily! It's the Crossin' o' the Arms!"

"I won't have you hindering my ability to travel through this Labyrinth." Susan continued, tapping her foot.

"Waily Waily! It's the Tappin' o' the Feets!" the Feegles wailed.

"If you're going to accompany me, we need to set down a few ground rules." Susan said.

Daft Wullie cried out again. "Waily Waily! It's the Pursin' o' the Lips!"

Rob Anybody chose that moment to hit Daft Wullie's head with the butt of his sword.

"Daft Wullie, how maeny times doo ae have to tell ye to shut oop?" Rob asked.

Daft Wullie only whimpered in response.

Satisfied that Daft Wullie wouldn't speak again, Rob turned and looked up at Susan.

"Eh, what kin' o' rooles are we talkin' aboot?" Rob asked apprehensively.

"Well, for starters, no fighting." Susan said.

Rob looked at her, his face aghast. "Nae fightin'? Boot –"

"I mean with each other. I'm sure we'll come across plenty things that you can attack. I just don't want you stopping every five minutes just so you can beat each other senseless. I _am_ on a time-limit, you know. And I don't want you attacking every creature we come up across either. Only if it poses a threat and tries to get in our way." Susan said.

Rob seemed to relax a little. "Oh. Weeeeell, I suppose we could do tha'. What do ye think lads?" Rob asked, turning to look at the rest of his clan.

The Feegles looked at each other and shrugged, nodding their heads and voicing their consent. Even Horace seemed to nod his head, or, at least seemed to nod.

"And I would also appreciate it if you could keep your constant arguing and shouting to a low level. Trying to make sense of this labyrinth does take some thinking, and I find that very difficult to do with the word 'Crivens' being shouted in my ear all the time."

Rob nodded. "Nae fightin' and nae shoutin'. Anything else?" he asked.

"Don't get in my way. It would slow me down considerably if I have to check to make sure I don't step on or trip over one of you." Susan said acidly. That had almost happened a few times.

"Ye heard her lads! Nae gettin' in the Big Hag's way!" Rob shouted.

"What did you call me?" Susan asked sharply.

"Eh, ye ken. A Hag! Eh, what ees eet them Big Jobs call ye . . .?" Rob mused.

"Eh, a witchy, Rob." Awfully Wee Billy Bigchin said.

Rob's face grew bright, "Aye, tha's eet! A witchy!"

"I'm not a witch," Susan said coldy.

"Then, wha' ees ye?" Rob asked.

"I'm just a . . . . something." Susan said carefully. She knew that the Glitter Man was watching her, and she did not want him to know about her heritage or her powers. They still gave her an advantage over him, an advantage she did not want to lose.

Rob squinted at her cryptic answer, but didn't pursue the subject any further. Rather, he faced the Feegles.

"Oi! Ye heard the Not-Hag's rooles! Nae fightin with each oother, nae shoutin', an' nae getting in her way! Any of ye who do will be fooorced too walk doown-wind o' Horace, ye hear me?" Rob demanded. The Feegles nodded their heads earnestly, though Horace seemed a little offended at Rob's form of punishment. If it's possible for a piece of cheese to look offended.

Satisfied with their promises, Susan nodded curtly. "Good. Now, come along; we've wasted precious time here."

Rob Anybody nodded. "Right. Come one lads! Nae wastin' time!" he shouted.

The Feegles nodded, and they followed Susan as she began to walk down the labyrinth. She decided to follow her bone instinct on which path to choose, as it had been alright so far. Okay, so the first path her bones told her to go down had led to dwarves and a haunted swamp, but she appeared to be closer to the castle than she had when she started, so she was obviously making progress, and for all she knew, the other paths could have been death traps.

Susan finally decided to go down a path with a multitude of the eyed weeds on the walls. Susan could feel the tiny stalk eyes following her, but ignored them. The Feegles looked like they very much wanted to attack these plants, but Susan could tell they were trying very hard to follow her rule of not attacking random things. Though Horace needed to be restrained a few times. Susan didn't know how it was possible, but he had almost swallowed an entire eye weed, and he didn't even have a mouth.

"Oi! Horace, if ye braek the Not-Hag's rooles, then I'll let Hamish's birdie have ye!" Rob shouted.

Horace instantly spit out the eye weed, and the poor plant shivered and blinked its many eyes slowly and sluggishly.

"Everything under control?" Susan asked.

Rob looked up at her and nodded. "Aye, Horace wus joost bein' a wanker."

"Well, come one then, we've got less than five hours left." Susan snapped, turning around to continue walking.

"Ye heard her lads! Keep moovin'!" Rob shouted.

"Rob, me feets hurt . . ."

"Maybe Hamish's birdie can carrie ye lazy ninnie then, Daft Wullie." Rob growled.

"Me feets don't hurt no more Rob!"

"Tha's whut I thought."

Susan sighed and rubbed her temples. Her judgment must have been clouded due to her encounter with the Glitter Man if she'd thought letting the Feegles tag along was a good idea. What had she been thinking?

"Oi! Big kittie oop a-heid!" Haymish shouted, swooping down on his buzzard to relay the message before heading for the sky again.

"Big kittie?" Susan repeated, her forehead creasing.

However, she continued walking, the Feegles behind her. She soon came to a great archway, beyond which Susan could see the castle, considerably closer than it had been an hour ago. Filled with renewed confidence, Susan strode forward, only to jump back suddenly as a huge beast leapt in her way, blocking the castle.

One of the first things Susan noticed about this creature was its immense size. Susan had never seen a dragon before, but she assumed that one of the legendary scaly beasts would have been dwarfed by this creature. It had three heads, the middle of a lion, the right of a dragon, and the left of a goat. It had huge bat-like wings upon its back, and Susan could see a snake rearing its head behind the other three heads, its body connected like a tail. Its forelegs ended in hug, massive paws with razor sharp claws, and its back legs ended in hooves.

"Oi! Finally, somethin' we can fight! Reidy lads? CRIIIIVEEEEEENSS!" Rob shouted, charging at the Chimera, his sword drawn. The other Feegles followed in suit, shouting battle cries of their own. Even Horace was charging, though his battle cry was something similar to "Hmmmmmmppppphhhh!" due to the fact that he had no mouth. The Feegles were soon hacking at the Chimera's legs, and Rob anybody jumped up and head-butted the lion's head. The massive feline head rolled back due to the impact, but snapped back into place and glared at the Feegle.

Susan had decided not to get involved in the fight, as she would have to resort to her powers to defeat the chimera, and Susan was almost certain that there was another way to get past the beast. Susan looked curiously at the arch, and noticed a sort of plaque on the wall next to it. Susan strode up to the wall, and looked carefully at the writing on the plaque.

_A dragon's tooth in a mortal's hand_

_I kill_

_I maim_

_I separate the land_

Susan blinked in surprise. "It's a riddle," she said in realization.

Behind her, Susan could hear the Feegles struggling with the Chimera. She had to admit that they were proving helpful after all – as she would most certainly not have had any time to try and solve the riddle if she was trying to run from a Chimera – and decided that bringing them along was a good idea after all. However, Susan returned her thoughts to the riddle on the plaque. It was quite obvious that if she answered the riddle correctly, she and the Feegles would be allowed passage through the arch. Of course, she had to solve the riddle then . . . .

Susan blinked as the answer came to her. It was surprisingly easy, actually. The tricky thing about riddles was that people tended to overthink them, when the answer was indeed quite simple. Susan turned around to face the battle currently going on. The Feegles by now had all somehow climbed aboard the Chimera, and were stabbing at it in various places. One was hanging onto the snake's neck, two were hacking at the goat's horns, a multitude of Feegles were caught in the lion's mane, and Rob Anybody was on the dragon's head, screaming and stabbing down with his sword. Only Horace remained on the ground, ramming into one of the Chimera's legs repeatedly, almost as if he was hoping that his wedge-like shape would act like a knife.

"A SWORD," Susan said, only using The Voice as that was the only way the Chimera could hear her.

Instantly, the Chimera stopped struggling. It looked at Susan – all three heads, and the tail – and nodded.

"I think you can get off it now," Susan said.

"Oi! Boot we was joost getting –"

"I think it will let us pass if you just get off it." Susan repeated more firmly.

The Feegles grumbled, but they god off the chimera, and it once more nodded at Susan before jumping into the air and flapping its powerful wings, flying out of sight.

Susan barely watched it go. "Well, come on, then, we've got very little time left." She said briskly.

* * *

Jareth was staring into the crystal, his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed. He was clutching the crystal very tightly, and a few cracks were showing on its normally flawless surface.

"Eh, Your Majesty?" A goblin asked hesitantly. All of the goblins were staring at their King, a sort of fear and apprehensiveness about them. Jareth had been King for long enough that the goblins – being about as low on the evolutionary scale as you could get – knew when he was ready to explode. And right now, he looked like he might blow up the entire Labyrinth.

"She's made it past the Guardian." Jareth said through clenched teeth.

The goblins couldn't help it, their mouths all dropped open. Gawaine stood in a corner, a sort of smug look on his face as he sucked on his thumb.

"She's got no labyrinth between her and this castle now, and she's on the wrong side to be apprehended be the junk-yard, _dammit._ Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!" Jareth screamed, hurling his crystal at a wall, shattering it.

"At the rate she's going, she'll be here within the hour! Even the Feegles won't slow her down. They're actually helping her! She wouldn't have even known about the Riddle if they hadn't distracted the Guardian – DAMMIT!" Jareth screamed again.

"Susan's going to wiiiiiiiiin." Gawain sang gleefully.

Jareth's head turned sharply, and he glared at the boy. However, something changed, and slowly, a smirk worked its way onto his face.

"Don't be so sure, little Gawain." Jareth chuckled maliciously before turning around and striding towards the door. He stalked through the corridors, past goblin servants and maids until he reached a set of large wooden double-doors. Jareth burst through the doors, opening them both – had Susan been there, she probably would have made a comment about "making an entrance" – and entering what was the palace library. The goblins were forbidden from entering it on the threat of being sent to the Bog of Eternal Stench, and only the elderly librarian was allowed in it – the only goblin who had a sense of what "tidiness" was.

"What can I do for you, Sire?" the librarian asked.

"I need to see the book that specifies on spells of glamour and illusion. Particularly ones that have to do with the mind and dreams." Jareth said.

The librarian nodded and hobbled over to one of the bookshelves lining the wall. He squinted at the titles on the shelves before making a dissatisfied noise and waving his hand at the bookshelf, causing to books to all slide down the shelf until the librarian put his hand up, stopping the motion of the books. He squinted at the titles again, and pulled a book of the shelf, lined in deep black with a silvery thread etching the title on it.

"'Ere you are, Sire." The librarian said, bowing as he handed the book to the King.

Jareth took the book and began to flip through the pages. Just as he had suspected, the writing was in Elvish. They were experts in glamour and illusion. Just look at how they had managed to convince humans of their "good-will."

Jareht continued to flip through the book until he came across a spell that caught his eye. As his eyes scanned over the writings, Jareth began to smirk. Ah, yes, this would do swimmingly . . .

"Everything to your satisfaction, Sire?" the librarian asked.

"Oh, yes, everything is more than to my satisfaction." Jareth replied, gently placing the black silk bookmark in the page before shutting the book.

"I'll be taking this book for a short while. I'll be sure to return it in one piece." Jareth assured the librarian. The wrinkled goblin nodded his head before walking off. Had it been any other goblin, Jareth wouldn't have bothered with such courtesy, but the librarian was different. As long as there had been a Palace Library, the librarian had been part of it. He was perhaps the only goblin ever to have existed that had a brain. Every Goblin King that there had ever been always showed the proper respect to the librarian if he knew what was good for him. And Jareth might have been narcissist and proud and smug and a prat, but he was no idiot. All of the past Goblin Kings who had fallen prey to the demise of the occasional Goblin Rebellion or an invasion by Fairies or Elves all had one thing in common – they never showed the librarian the proper respect. And Jareth did not want to end up like his predecessors.

Turning his attention back to the black-bound book in his hand, Jareth smirked.

"Let's see how you deal with the Mists of Dreams, Sweet Susan."

* * *

Alright, I know this chapter is a little shorter, but I wanted to give you guys something to read. I know things seem to be going kind of fast, and I know that Susan is getting through this labyrinth pretty easily, but don't you worry! A REAL challenge for Susan is coming up! Jareth's getting desperate, so he's resorting to some "illegal" tricks. And by illegal, I mean totally unfair to the Quester, and reason for him to smirk and be all smug. :D Oh, and guys, NO ONE has done my poll on my profile! Seriously! Check it out! Vote! I need your opinions! And, if you could please REVIEW, that would be nice, too! I know people are reading this story, there's this neat little gadget that lets me see how many people visit each of my stories each day, so I know this story isn't completely ignored! I NEED REVIEWS! They're my inspiration to write! I've enabled Anonymous reviews, so even if you don't have a fanfic account, REVIEW! *sobs* please! So far, I only have three reviews! THREE! For THREE chapters! Review! Please! And take the poll! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE! :'(

~FantasticMisticalWonder (FMW/Wonder)


	5. As the World Falls Down

Sorry I've been AWOL for the past few weeks. School's been crazy. Seriously, I've had a huge exam in every class except Health, Art, and Latin. Ugh. And we got a late start on decorating for Christmas, so I've been busy. So, yeah, here's the next chapter! Only two more or so after this!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Susan, the Feegles, and anything else having to do with Discworld belongs to Terry Pratchett. Labyrinth, its glittering king, and everything else related to it belong to Jim Henson (may he rest in peace).

* * *

"Oi! We's almoost there!" Rob Anybody shouted. The Feegles immediately crowed with joy, and they began to sing some out-of-tune barsongs, and they seemed to have considerable trouble agreeing on which song to sing. But all the same, they danced with joy, and even Susan had to give a twitch of a smile.

"Let's not celebrate yet; we still have to get through the city and to the castle. And I'm not confidant that the glittering bastard will give up so easily." Susan said.

"That city will be nae prooblem! 'Ave ye seen a gooblin fight?" Rob asked.

"I can't say that I have." Susan replied.

"They's can nae even poot oon their own keelts righ'! Mooch less fight!" Rob cried.

"So getting through the city should be relatively easy." Susan said.

"Easy as the crawstep!" Rob declared, grinning broadly.

"We still have to get to the city." Susan said.

"Boot there's naethin' between oos an' the city! Nae oobbsti . . . . oobstic . . . . naethin' to block oos!" Rob shouted.

"Like I said: I wouldn't count on the Glitter Man to just let us pass." Susan repeated.

Rob scoffed. "Oi, let him coome! Wha's e' goin' ta do, get sparklies all over oos?"

"Never underestimate your opponent," Susan mumbled, squinting her eyes. Something was coming, something big. She could feel it. Her bones were practically singing with it. Whatever it was, it had power in it. Power, and very, very old magic.

"Something's not right." Susan said, stopping.

"Oi! Wha' ees eet?" Rob demanded.

"I'm not sure," Susan said. She could see it now. It looked like a giant storm cloud, rising out of the castle. It was crackling with blue lightening, and getting larger and larger by the second.

"Rob! A storm's a comin'!" Haymish shouted, landing his buzzard.

"I can see tha'." Rob said, staring at the cloud. For once, all of the Feegles were still, as they all stared at the cloud that was beginning to move towards them. Horace shivered, and he seemed to moan a bit.

"Wha' _ees_ tha'?" Daft Wullie asked.

"I'm not sure, but we've got to keep going." Susan said firmly, starting to walk towards the castle again.

"Ae! Ye heard her lads! Get moovin'!" Rob shouted.

"We're walkin' _towards_ tha' thing?" Daft Wullie gasped.

"Don' tell me ye're afraid of a wee cloud, Daft Wullie. Now, shut oop and star' walkin!" Rob growled.

Susan ignored the Feegle's arguing, and instead kept her eyes on the storm cloud. She was certain that it was coming towards them. In fact, it seemed to be going faster. Susan's bones were practically screaming at her to turn away and run away, but she gritted her teeth and kept her stride. She would not falter. No, she would not give up Gawain just because of a storm cloud that gave her a bad feeling; she would not give the Glitter Man the satisfaction of seeing her give up. No, she would sooner die than let either of those things happen.

"Rob, it's getting' closer." Daft Wullie whined.

"Daft Wullie . . ." Rob growled, stopping before he could reprimand the Feegle to look at Susan in surprise.

"Oi! Why'd ye stoop?" Rob asked.

Susan blinked. "I can't feel my legs."

"Wha' do ye mean ye can nae . . . Oi! I can nae feel me own legs!" Rob shouted, looking down at his legs.

The other Feegles immediately began to panic as they too realized that they had lost the feeling in their legs. Even Horace and Haymish's buzzard had seemed to be rendered immobile.

"I don't like this." Susan commented as the cloud started speeding towards them.

"Oi! Brace yer selves lads!" Rob shouted, just before the cloud engulfed them.

* * *

Jareth looked into his crystal, a triumphant smirk on his face.

"Got you now, Sweet Susan." He purred.

* * *

When Susan woke up, she had no idea where she was. It seemed to be an extremely dirty alley. Susan never thought she'd seen an alley that was as dirty as the ones by the Mended Drum in Ankh-Morpork, but it appears that this one was equally as filthy. In fact, even the walls and the garbage can seemed to be like the ones by . . .

"Oh dear," Susan said. It appears that she _was_ in the alley behind the Mended Drum.

"How did I end up here?" Susan asked herself before creasing her brow.

"Where was I _before_ I was here?" she wondered.

"Susan?" a voice with a familiar lilt to it asked.

Alarmed, Susan turned around to see a very familiar person walking towards her. He was only slightly taller than she was, and he had a sort of an elvish look to him.

"Bu – Imp?" Susan asked. Back when she had still gone to the finishing school, Imp Y Celen hadn't remembered a thing about the parasite guitar or his band, or the fact that Susan and her grandfather had saved him. In fact, he seemed a little frightened by her. But, he didn't seem frightened now. In fact, he seemed quite glad to see her.

"Susan! It is you!" he cried, running over to her.

"What is it, Imp?" Susan asked.

"Susan, I remember!" Imp declared.

"Remember what?" Susan asked.

"Everything! The guitar, the band, you." Imp said, smiling at her.

Susan blinked. "Oh," she said.

"I don't know how I forgot. I allmost died for Io's sake!" Imp cried.

"Well, reality is weird that way." Susan replied.

"That's an understatement." Imp chuckled before stepping closer to Susan.

"I'm sorry, you know, for being so stubborn about the guitar and not bellieving you. And for being so scared of you." Imp added sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Imp, I forgave you for all of those things years ago." Susan replied.

Imp heaved a sigh of relief. "I've been beating myself up about those things for years." He admitted.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that." Susan said.

"But I was so awfull to you Susan! You were trying to save my llife and I just yellled at you! You did save my llife and I acted llike you were a freak! I've been pretty ungratefull." Imp said.

"You're only human: you can't be perfect." Susan said comfortingly.

Imp sighed. "I suppose you're right. Stilll: I'm terriblly sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Susan said before looking around.

"What's the matter?" Imp asked.

"I can't remember where I was before this." Susan said.

"You haven't been consorting with magicall instruments, have you?" Imp asked.

Susan shook her head. "No, I don't think so. But it's something magical alright. Magical, and powerful." Susan said before shivering.

"Maybe your grandfather can hellp you: he is, welll, you know." Imp suggested.

"I think I'll keep my abilities in reserve." Susan said.

"What for?" Imp asked.

Susan creased her forehead. "I'm not sure, I just know I have to keep them secret."

"From who?" Imp asked.

"I can't remember. It has something to do with glitter, though."

"Gllitter?" Imp repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"I know, odd. For some reason I remember him looking like one of your over-zealous fans." Susan commented.

"Really?" Imp asked.

"I'm actually a little glad I can't remember him." Susan said.

"Why's that?" Imp asked.

"The memory of him is accompanied by an intense feeling of irritation." Susan explained.

"Then don't think about him," Imp suggested.

Susan nodded and squinted at Imp. There was something about him. She couldn't place what, but he seemed almost . . . not real.

"How has your apprenticeship with the wizard been going?" Susan asked after a while.

"Oh, it's been great! I thought he wouldn't let me pllay my music at first, because magic and music don't generallly mix, but he doesn't care at alll as llong as I don't do it at his workshop!" Imp said excitedly.

Susan nodded. "That's good. Have you run into the other members of the band?" she asked.

Imp shrugged. "I see Glod here and there. Llias not so much. They don't remember me, though." Imp added sadly.

"How did you remember, anyways?" Susan asked.

"I just woke up today, and it alll came back to me! I can't explain it." Imp said.

"Everything has an explanation, but they don't always make sense." Susan replied.

"Like a magic shop that changes which side of the street it's on." Imp supplied.

"Or a jolly old fat man delivering presents to make the sun come up." Susan added.

Imp raised an eyebrow. "Making the sun come up? I didn't know that was a part of the Hogfather's – "

"Oh, my head." A voice groaned.

Susan started. "Bilious?"

"Does anyone have some ice?" the voice asked.

Susan ran over to where the voice was coming from, and found the Oh God of Hangovers lying in a trash can.

"Bilious, I thought you'd found another job." Susan groaned before reaching down and hoisting the deity out of the garbage recipracle.

"Who's Bilious?" Imp asked, looking at the toga-clad man in interest.

"You know how there's a God of Wine?" Susan asked.

Imp nodded.

"Well, he's the Oh God of Hangovers." Susan explained.

"The Oh God of Hangovers?" Imp asked.

"Whenever someone wakes up without a hangover after drinking themselves silly the night before, the hangover goes to him." Susan said.

"Oh," Imp nodded before a sheepish blush creeping up his neck.

"Er, sorry your godlliness." He added.

Bilious looked up at Imp, his eyes blurry.

"Would you look at that; it's a little elf." Bilious said, giving a drunken smile before throwing up on the floor.

"Oh, dear Io." Susan groaned.

"You wouldn't happen to work for the Hogfather, would you?" Bilious asked.

"Those are pixies, and I thought you were working for the Tooth Fairy now." Susan hissed.

"Elf, pixie, they all look the same when you're hung over." Bilious said before throwing up again.

"And as for the Tooth Fairy, it appears that just because I resign doesn't mean the universe is going to let me off easy." Bilious said bitterly.

"So you still get other people's hangovers?" Susan asked.

"Worse than dwarf-bread." Bilious said.

"He works for the Tooth Fairy?" Imp asked.

Susan nodded. "Yes, and unless things have changed since I last saw him, he's dating one as well."

Bilious burped. "Oh, yeah, Vi and I are still together," he said before giggling.

"Did you hear that? I rhymed." He giggled before being sick again.

"Can we do anything to hellp him?" Imp asked.

"He'll just be hung over again. I was able to temporarily cure it by paying a visit to the Unseen University." Susan explained.

"How have those wizards been?" Imp asked.

"I wouldn't know. Truth be told I've been trying to avoid anything out of the ordinary." Susan admitted.

"Trying to llive a normall llife?" Imp guessed.

"Attempting," Susan said.

Imp opened his mouth to speak, but he froze suddenly, and Susan could tell by his body language that he was scared. Very.

"Imp?" Susan asked.

"Lookie what we have here," a high voice asked.

Susan could feel the blood draining out of her face. "Oh please no,"

Teatime stepped out from behind Imp, his childlike grin spread wide on his face, his glass eye shining.

"Hello there, Susan. It's always good to see old friends, isn't it?" Teatime asked.

"You're supposed to be dead," Susan insisted.

Teatime stepped to the side, and Susan could see the faint blue outline of her grandfather's sword barely brushing Imp's back.

"Your grandfather was quite willing to let me go, when I took this from him." Teatime said.

"He'll come after you." Susan warned.

"Actually, I beg to differ. I told him, I'd kill him, if he ever tried to stop me. Ironic, isn't it?: Death being afraid of himself. He didn't seem to care at all that I might come after you." Teatime mused.

"I killed you once, I can do it again," Susan said, stepping foreward.

Teatime tilted the sword so that it was pressed closer to Imp, and the musician hissed.

"I wouldn't step any closer, if you want your little friend to live." Teatime warned.

Susan stopped in her tracks and glared at Teatime.

"If you think for a second that you're going to get away with this – "

"Oh, I don't think, I know." Teatime said.

"You can't be certain about anything." Susan snapped.

"Oh, but I can. I am certain that you won't do anything to try and stop me, because you care about too many people. This bard, the drunken god, those two children . . . you won't do anything, because you know that I'll kill them. I, however, do not have any friends that you can hurt. So, see, I'm the winner here. Now, just hold still while I kill you, and I might let your friend here live afterwards." Teatime said.

However, Susan had not heard a word that Teatime had said past mentioning the children. Twyla, and Gawain. There was something important that she had to remember about them.

"It's very rude to not pay attention to me while I'm talking." Teatime said, appearing by her ear.

Susan spun around and saw herself faced with Teatime's pale grey and glass eye. Something about them changed for a moment, staying mismatched but both being actual eyes . . . one blue and one green . . . .

"It seems you've forgotten your manners, Sweet Susan. I've asked you the same question twice and you have yet to answer. I'm not a patient man, you know." Teatime said.

"What did you call me?" Susan demanded.

"I was flattering you. All good assassins are courteous to ladies, even the ones they kill. It's part of being elegant." Teatime explained.

"Someone else has called me that . . ." Susan murmured.

"Oh really? I would like to know the name of this person. Maybe I can use them against you, too." Teatime said.

"I don't remember it." Susan replied.

"It's very impolite to lie," Teatime said, reappearing at Susan's ear.

"I'm not," Susan said, backing away.

"You're killing him," Teatime said, brushing the blade against Imp's back, making him wince. Susan could see a trickle of blood running down his back.

"I'm not lying." Susan said.

"Please: you are the granddaughter of Death. Death cannot forget things, and neither can you." Teatime said.

"I forgot I was his granddaughter." Susan countered.

"Your powers had not fully matured, and you had not accepted you inheritance. Both have now happened, so you cannot forget." Teatime said.

"Then how come I don't know where I was before this?" Susan asked.

"Quite simple, actually." A gruff voice said.

Susan turned around, and found Archancellor Ridcully standing before her.

"What do you mean?" Susan asked.

"Well, you see, there are certain spells that can make you think that you've forgotten something. It's not really forgetting, just giving the impression of it." Ridcully explained.

"I don't follow," Susan said.

"Well, you see here: the spell simply redirects your mind each time you try to remember the thoughts that it's trying to prevent you from thinking. They're still there, but it's like someone slapping your hand away from the cookie jar." Ridcully explained.

"So I'm under a spell," Susan said.

"It would seem so, yes." Ridcully said.

Susan was about to ask another question when she heard something thump behind her. Alarmed, Susan turned around and saw Imp lying on the ground, blood pooling around him and Teatime standing over him, the sword dripping with the bard's blood.

"You killed him!" Susan exclaimed.

"A rather charitable act, I believe. His accent was grating on my nerves. Even worse than that babbling tooth fairy." Teatime said.

"What happened to the little elf? Did he spill his sherry on himself?" Bilious asked.

"I need to go, Twyla and Gawain are in trouble!" Susan said.

"Oh, they will be, if you don't hold still." Teatime said, raising the sword above his head, ready to strike down . . .

. . . and he was suddenly stopped as a scythe swung over his head, singing as it cut through the air. Teatime was still for a moment, and then he dropped the sword, and he fell to the ground. Behind him stood a tall figure, so thing he could be called skeletal, wearing a black cloak and holding a scythe. The thing looked up, and it looked at Susan with its two blue pinpricks of eyes.

HELLO, SUSAN. Death said before snapping his fingers, stopping time.

"Grandfather, what is it?" Susan asked.

I AM NOT REAL. Death said.

"What do you mean?" Susan asked.

I AM MEARELY A FIGMINT OF YOUR IMAGINATION, SUSAN. THIS PLACE IS NOT REAL. IT IS A DREAM. A SPELL HAS FESTERED INTO YOUR BRAIN AND RECOVERED YOUR MEMORIES, CREATING YOUR WORST AND BEST DREAMS. Death explained.

"Then what are Bilious and the Archancellor doing here?" Susan asked.

THEY APPEAR TO HAVE BEEN PUT IN FOR PROVIDING INFORMATION AND COMEDIC RELIEF. WRITERS OFTEN DO THAT. Death said.

"What?" Susan asked.

NEVER MIND. THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU MUST REMEMBER YOUR ORIGINAL QUEST. OTHERWISE THE PENALTY WILL BE GREATER THAN WHAT YOU CAN BEAR. Death said.

"What do I have to remember?" Susan asked.

I CANNOT TELL YOU. I HAVE BEEN CREATED BY YOUR MIND, REMEMBER? HOWEVER, I DO KNOW THESE THINGS: THE CLUES LIE IN THE TWO CHILDREN, MISMATCHED EYES, AND GLITTER. Death said.

"Things I've already remembered." Susan realized.

CORRECT. YOU MUST REMEMBER THE REST, BEFORE YOU RUN OUT OF TIME. Death insisted.

"Because this is a dream, and time doesn't exist here. So you haven't really . . ."

STOPPED TIME, NO. NOT IN THE REAL WORLD. THERE, YOUR TIME IS FADING. YOU MUST HURRY. Death said.

Susan creased her brow. "What do glitter and mismatched eyes and Twyla and Gawain have to do with each other?"

YOU MUST THINK. Death said.

Susan creased her forehead and looked down at Teatime's body. He had evoked the most memories from her. His different eyes, calling her Sweet Susan . . .

_The man turned to look at Susan, a light smirk on his face. "Correct, Sweet Susan, there are loopholes." He purred._

Susan's eyes opened wide. The Glitter Man. He had stolen Gawain away, and she only had thirteen hours to get him back before he was turned into a goblin!

Satisfied, Death nodded his head. WELL DONE, SUSAN. He said before fading away with the rest of the scene.

And with a start, Susan woke up to find herself lying sprawled on the ground, surrounded by the crackling cloud. Quickly recovering from the shock, she looked down at her feet and experimentally wiggled her toes. Good. The spell that had bound her legs apparently lost its affect as soon as she had fallen under. Groaning, Susan sat up and put her hand to her forehead. She'd had migraines before, but this headache definitely took the cake. If this is how Bilious felt every day, Susan could certainly understand why he acted like a total buffoon most of the time. She could barely think straight, her head hurt so much.

Slowly, Susan stood up, and swayed a bit as her head throbbed a bit more. Shaking her head, Susan started walking blindly through the fog, carefully looking at her feet to make sure that she didn't step on any sleeping Feegles. The Feegles. Susan groaned. She'd have to try and find them in this fog, not step on them, and wake them up from a magic induced sleep. Susan thoughtfully chewed on the inside of her cheek. The Feegles were storng, they could take care of themselves. Besides, the function of this magical fog was to keep them in a sort of dreamland, not to hurt them. Besides, she didn't know how long she had been asleep, and for all she knew she could have less than an hour left. Gawain was the priority here.

"Sorry Rob, but I have to save Gawain." Susan whispered.

Now, Susan had not idea which way was the castle, but she did know that if there was ever a time to use her powers, it was now or never. And so, Susan concentrated, and she could feel her hair rearranging itself, and her sensible governess' attire melding into the long black dress and corset, with the long black cloak. And reaching back into the folds of her cloak, Susan pulled out the sword. Her grandfather had made it so that Susan could reach the sword whenever she was in need of it, and right now, Susan was sure that she would need it.

Satisfied that she was ready, Susan brought up her hand and snapped her fingers. At once, the fog was still, and she couldn't even hear the sound of silence. She had to move quickly now, as she wasn't sure that the Glitter Man would be frozen with the rest of time, as he appeared to have some control over it. He could easily undo her time-stop if he knew what was going on.

And so, making herself "invisible" for extra protection, Susan started out of the fog, hopefully towards the castle.

* * *

There you have it! There's probably going to be another update fairly soon, as I want to get this story over and done with. And since no one is voting on the poll, I'm going to guess that you guys don't care. Oh, and, please, REVIEW! I know that people are reading it, so please review! It's killing me that no one's reviewing it! I know you've got other stuff to do, or maybe you don't like to review, but please, at least give me just a "nice chapter" or a "good job". PLEEEEAAAAASEEE!

~FantasticMisticalWonder


	6. Thirteen OClock

Here's the next and final chappie! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Susan, the Feegles, and Discworld belong to Terry Pratchett, and Jareth and Labyrinth belong to Jim Henson.

* * *

Jareth was lounging in his room, feeling quite content. Susan was trapped in her own dreams, unable to come and save Gawain, and had been so for hours. In only less than half an hour she would lose. He was tempted to watch and maybe invade Susan's dream, but he knew that she would remember her purpose and wake up if she saw him. He smirked. Despite her indifference to him, he had still made an impression.

Twirling the crystal in his fingers, Jareth looked at it pensively. A peak, maybe? That couldn't hurt, as long as she didn't sense his presence. Concentrating, Jareth looked into the crystal, and it glowed slightly before revealing Susan, talking to an elderly man wearing a pointed hat, while a man in a toga was sick in a trashcan, and a man in all black promptly slashed at the back of a faintly elvish looking young man. He didn't even cry out. Instead his eyes sort of rolled back and he fell to the ground. Susan whipped around and stared aghast at the body of the man before looking accusingly at the man holding the sword.

"You killed him!" she exclaimed.

"A rather charitable act, I believe. His accent was grating on my nerves. Even worse than that babbling tooth fairy." The man said in a high and breathy voice.

"What happened to the little elf? Did he spill his sherry on himself?" the man in the toga asked.

"I need to go; Twyla and Gawain are in trouble!" Susan insisted.

Jareth frowned. She shouldn't be able to even remember _that_ much.

"Oh, they will be, if you don't hold still." The man said, raising the sword above his head. Jareth squinted at the weapon. There was something . . . not right about it. It seemed almost too real. Susan looked up at the sword that was ready to strike her down with an odd sort of calmness, like she didn't know that it could kill her. Jareth frowned. Did she know that this was just a dream as well? Scowling, he tossed the crystal away, and it popped like a bubble as soon as it hit the wall. That Susan, as fascinating as she was, had an annoying habit of turning his spells into useless parlor tricks. It was like they didn't even affect her. First the Swamp of Souls, then the Guardian . . . Jareth shook his head. No normal human, not even a witch could have done something like that without using magic. And Susan didn't seem to even be _trying_. Jareth was getting this irritating feeling that his labyrinth was too easy for her.

"What _is_ she?" Jareth wondered. She wasn't a witch, but then what was she? Maybe those foolish dwarves were right and she was possessed by a demon. But, no, despite that ghastly voice there was nothing else pointing towards that. Besides, Jareth had felt a soul in her. So that also ruled out elf and ogre in disguise. She could be a Fey like him, but then she would have known the kind of authority he had over her, and wouldn't have acted so insolent.

Jareth scowled. She was proving to be quite the headache. Jareth had solved countless riddles, created and tamed a labyrinth to protect the Goblin City, ruled over the brainless goblins for over fifteen hundred years, and yet he couldn't figure out one human girl!

Shaking his head, Jareth stood up and walked out of his room. He needed to get some fresh air, maybe bog a few goblins. He needed to get his mind off of that damn girl. At least for the next twenty minutes. Then, he could turn Gawain into a goblin, and keep Susan trapped in the labyrinth forever. Jareth grinned at the thought. He normally just sent the Questers home or turned them into goblins, but Susan was far too interesting. No, he would take pleasure in breaking her, forcing her to reveal her own secrets. He would bend her iron-strong will to his own; she would _beg_ him to rule her when he was done with her. Or, perhaps he would let her keep her own mind. That _was_ part of what made her so interesting, after all. Her refusal to submit to him, her immunity to all of his mind games. Yes, he would let her keep her free will. And she would _still_ want him. He would make sure of that. Susan _would_ be his.

Jareth smiled. Oh, he was so glad that she had talked him into letting her substitute for Twyla. She was so much more interesting, so much more fun to torment. The challenge she presented would make victory over her so much more sweet. Just as sweet as pulling emotion from her deadpan voice and icy eyes would be.

So lost in thoughts of victory was Jareth, that he almost missed seeing the goblin servant frozen in mid walk. Doing a double take, Jareth backed up and squinted at the goblin. Was this some new game the goblins were playing? No, they couldn't stand still for five seconds, much less balance on one foot whilst holding a pile of towels in one hand. Without blinking. Or breathing.

Jareth frowned, and experimentally poked the goblin with his riding crop. It didn't budge. An increasingly uneasy feeling growing inside him, Jareth walked briskly down the hallway and into the throne room, where he found all of the other goblins frozen in mid move. Even the chickens were still, one in midflight. One goblin was lying underneath the beer keg, the streem of ale frozen halfway to the goblin's mouth. Jareth whipped his head around to face the clock, and found to his astonishment and fury that it, too, was frozen. He had enchanted that clock to always run, even if matter itself was prevented from moving. The only way that clock could be still was if Jareth willed it so, or if time itself was stopped. And s ince the former was most certainly not true . . . .

"That girl has stopped time!" Jareth exclaimed, summoning one of his crystals and looking intently into it. She wasn't in the Mists of Dreams anymore, he could make that out. The beginnings of panic welling up inside him, Jareth reached out his mind, searching for the unique presence of Susan. He couldn't find her. Using his crystal to quickly scan through the labyrinth, he found no trace of her. Had she already found Gawain and gone? No, he would have noticed. Besides, little Gawain was still in the corner of the throne room, frozen like everything else, his thumb in his mouth.

Growling, Jareth let out a scream and hurled the crystal at the wall, but it froze as soon as it left the Goblin King's hand. His anger growing even more, Jareth waved his hand at the clock, and it immediately started up again, everything else in the room recovering from its frozen position.

"You fools! The girl has made it past the Mists of Dreams! Now get out there and stop her!" Jareth yelled.

The goblins all quickly scrambled to obey their King, and after a moment of chaos they were all out of the room, leaving Gawain standing with a triumphant look on his face.

"Susan's going to win." He said.

Jareth growled and he strode up to where Gawain stood, looming over the child.

"Just you wait, you insolent child. You _will_ be my subject. And I _will_ rule Susan." He hissed before stomping away.

He would be damned if he let Susan win. He would burn in the fires of Hell if he let her slip out of his grasp.

* * *

Back in the library, the elderly librarian listened to the chaos of the goblins assembling to fight off the girl coming to claim the little boy. The librarian shook his wrinkled head. Didn't they realize that it was hopeless? Did they not feel the immense power that the girl brought with her? He had. He had felt her as soon as she had entered the Labyrinth. She would have no trouble dealing with a bunch of goblins who could barely put on their armor.

Sighing, the librarian sat down in his chair and put a hand to his chest, where he could feel his weak heart spluttering. He was old. He had been around since the first Goblin King had reigned. Jareth and all of the previous Kings had thought that the librarian would be there as long as the Goblin City would exist, but they were wrong. No, he just had a very, very long lifespan. A gift from the first Goblin King, who thought that the only intelligent goblin to ever exist should at least live a nice, long life if not be immortal, at least for the sakes of Goblin Kings to come. And the librarian felt that his long life was coming to an end.

Closing his eyes, the librarian laid back his head. He was like wizards and witches in that he knew when he was going to die. And he knew that he would die before Susan left the labyrinth or lost, which, the latter was highly unlikely. He was unsure as to who would take over the library when he was gone, as none of the goblins could even spell their own names. Well, that would be Jareth's headache, not his.

But, the librarian did know one more thing. And that was that he was like witches and wizards in one other way.

Death himself would come to take him away.

* * *

Susan had passed easily through the gates and into the city before she felt time restart again. Well, at least she got past the guards and that giant metal monster. She also decided to forgo being invisible, as the Glitter Man probably already knew that she was nearby, and it was taking a bit of energy to maintain the invisibility, energy that she was sure she would need later. So Susan loosened her sword in her scabbard and continued to walk at a brisk pace towards the palace.

She heard the goblins before she saw them.

It was the clanging of metal, and disorganized shouts that she heard. Susan sighed in annoyance. She really wished she hadn't left the Feegles behind now. They would have been useful in distracting the goblins. But although she may have been able to stop time, she couldn't turn it backwards. So Susan kept walking forward, bracing herself for either a great battle or a great annoyance.

Susan didn't see the goblin army until she was right in front of the palace. They had amassed right at the foot of the castle, and Susan doubted that they posed any serious threat. They didn't seem to quite fit in their armor, and they were struggling to hold their swords and battle axes upright. When they saw Susan, they immediately stood straight, though some fell over with the effort of trying to lift their heavy weapons. The goblins in front were mounted on some small horse-like creatures, and they lowered their lances. One goblin towards the middle made some obscure gesture, but the goblins seemed to understand it, as they immediately started charging towards Susan.

She immediately drew her sword and took a fighting stance, ready to fight off the goblins. However, a range of battle cries rising above those of the goblins stopped the army, and they looked around in confusion. But Susan recognized the disorganized battle cries, and she turned around in surprise. Sure enough, charging at the goblin army were the Nac Mac Feegles, Rob Anybody leading the assault. There seemed to be more of them than she remembered, but they all ran around Susan and straight at the goblins. Only Rob Anybody stayed behind, and he glared up at Susan.

"Wha wus ye thinkin', lassie? Leavin' withoot oos like tha'?" Rob demanded.

"I had assumed that you were still caught by the dream-spell and decided to take care of my first priority instead of hunting for you and trying to wake you up." Susan said.

Rob scowled. "We was nae asleep! We joost crawstepped oot of them dreams and got some moor of the clan! We thoot they'd like to fight soom gooblins too."

Susan nodded her head. "I will remember that next time I'm with you and we're both under a dream spell. Now, I have to go and try and find Gawain. I would greatly appreciate it if you would keep these goblins busy for me."

Rob grinned up at her. "Nae prooblem! !" Rob screamed, raising his sword and running straight into the chaos.

A smile twitched at the edges of Susan's lips as she watched the Feegles attack the goblins, but she turned her attention away from the battle and looked up at the castle. Concentrating, Susan began to walk through the battle, and the goblins and Feegles both sort of just avoided her. Once Susan had made it past the battle, she began up the stairs, and towards the entrance to the castle.

That glittering bastard had better watch out.

* * *

The librarian sat back in his chair. He was finding it more difficult to breath now. He was only merely minutes away from the end of life. Strangely, however, he felt no fear at the prospect of no longer living. He had been alive for far too long. He would welcome Death like an old friend. Dealing with idiotic goblins and pompous Goblin Kings had made him consider taking his own life a few times. But soon he would finally get his much needed retirement. Jareth may have liked being immortal, but he had only lived for fifteen hundred years. The Goblin King was a newborn baby compared to how old the librarian was.

His eyes fluttering, the librarian felt his weak heart splutter. Cracking open an eye, the librarian looked at the door. He could feel Death coming. Grunting, the librarian got out of his chair and hobbled towards the door, opening it slightly. He poked his head out into the hallway and frowned. There wasn't anything there. Maybe Death would only reveal himself once he was dead. Yes, that must be it.

Grunting, the librarian was about to retreat back into the many stacks of books when he heard the clatter of feet on the tiled floor. Squinting, the librarian looked out into the hallway and saw a young woman, her pale hair with a single black streak piled on top of her head, a long black cloak trailing to the ground and a too-real sword held out in front of her.

"Yer not 'xactly what I expected when I felt that Death was comin' fer me." The librarian grunted.

The young woman stopped and looked at him. "Pardon?" she asked.

"Yer Death, ain't you?" the librarian asked.

The woman looked at him and shook her head. "No, I'm afraid I'm not."

The librarian sniffed. "You feel like Death. But I can see now you ain't him. Too human. Yer that new Quester, ain't ya?"

The young woman nodded. "Yes, I am."

The librarian snorted. "That overconfident fool of a king must be losing his touch if he can't see how much power you have. Don't know why he was fool enough to let you take that little girls place. He ain't got no chance of winning now."

"I thank you for your vote of confidence." The woman said dryly.

"You best be goin': you's only got less than ten minutes left. Oh, an' that was a nice trick: freezin' time like that. It gets on his nerves when someone other than him controls this labyrinth." The librarian chuckled.

The woman nodded. "Thank you." She said before walking away.

"Oh, an' I'll be sure to let your grandfather know you said hi when I see him." The librarian called.

Stopping, the young woman turned around and stared at him wide-eyed. The librarian cackled.

"I'll admit, I'm old and my mind's not as quick as it was; but I's heard of you, girlie. Don't know why I didn't recognize you the moment you stepped foot in this labyrinth." The librarian said, his eyes twinkling before retreating back into the library, closing the door.

Turning his back to the hallway and hobbling back towards his desk and chair, the librarian cackled again. Oh, he so wished he would live long enough to see that girl grind Jareth into the dust. It would be a sight indeed.

* * *

Susan walked through the halls, her eyes scanning for any sight of Gawain or the Glitter Man. The goblin had said that she only had ten minutes left, and she was starting to wonder if the Glitter Man had taken Gawain and run. However, all thoughts of that left Susan's mind as soon as she came to a room filled with staircases going in all directions. And leaning against the doorway, twirling a crystal in his fingers, was the Glitter Man.

"Where is Gawain?" Susan demanded.

"What do you think of my Escher Room, Sweet Susan?" the Glitter Man asked.

"I don't bloody care about it. _Where is Gawain?_" Susan repeated.

The Glitter Man frowned and gave Susan a pained look. "You hurt my feelings, Susan. I put a lot of work into this room."

"Have you not heard a word I've said? I don't care about your damn room, or anything else in this damn labyrinth! Just tell me where Gawain is!" Susan shouted.

The Glitter Man thought about this for a second, tapping his chin with his finger. "No," he finally said.

Susan stared at him. "I beg your pardon?"

"You've offended me, Susan. Throughout this entire time you've made child's play of my labyrinth. A lot of work went into creating it, you know. It was supposed to be so that no one could get even close to the city, without making it impossible. Yet, here you are. And you didn't seem to even try."

"Your point?" Susan asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Say my name, Susan." The Glitter Man said, looking her in the eyes.

"What?" Susan asked, surprised.

"You've acted like you don't give a damn about me or anything, in fact you've expressed many times that you don't care. I just want to hear my name pass through your lovely lips at least once before I return Gawain to you. Is that too much to ask?" the Glitter Man asked innocently.

Susan narrowed her eyes. "How many tries do I have to get it right?" she asked.

"Oh, no limit on the number of tries. However, your time _is_ running out." The Glitter Man said, pointing at the clock, showing that she only had a number of minutes before her thirteen (technically ten) hours were up.

Looking down, Susan wracked her brains. He hadn't ever said his name before, but maybe some of the goblins had . . . .

"You're the Goblin King," Susan said finally.

"That is my job description, yes. Well done. However, that is not my _name_, Sweet Susan. Even kings have names." The Goblin King purred.

Scowling, Susan once more searched her memory. Someone had to have said it sometime! He couldn't have forbidden the goblins from speaking his name, could he? Uncertainty began to creep up on Susan. Had he finally outwitted her? Used her own words and stubbornness against her? That satisfied smirk on his face certainly said that he thought so. Maybe she could guess it . . . but she wouldn't know where to start! There were a countless number of names, and she didn't know if it was a human name or a goblin one. Or a name from an entirely different species! For all she knew, it could be Glitter Man!

For once, Susan didn't know what to do.

* * *

The librarian was breathing heavily. It was almost time. His heart kept on spluttering, the smallest movement was exhausting, and he was having trouble breathing.

Coughing, the goblin felt the presence of Death enter the room, and leaning his head back, the librarian let out a sigh.

It was the last thing that ever came out of his mouth.

Cracking open his eye, the librarian saw a tall dark figure standing in front of him. Grunting, the librarian stood up, and noted his transparency and the fact that his actual body still lying in the chair.

"About bloody time," the librarian grunted.

I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING LATE. Death said.

"I thought you'd never come." The librarian said.

I WAS HELD UP ON MY WAY HERE: THERE WAS AN ENTIRE SWAMP FILLED WITH SOULS THAT REFUSED TO MOVE ON TO THE AFTERLIFE. Death said, shaking his head.

The librarian nodded. "Well, we'd better get goin' then. Goodness knows I'll be glad to say goodbye to this place. Them goblins got no respect fer books." The librarian said, shaking his head.

FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND THEY CAN'T EVEN READ, Death commented.

"Bloody illiterates, the whole lot of them." The librarian growled.

I'M AFRAID THAT I DON'T COME FOR MANY GOBLINS, SO I HAVEN'T HAD THE PLEASURE OF MEETING THEM. Death said apologetically.

"Pleasure? Displeasure's more like it. Consider yourself lucky. Oh, and your granddaughter says high."

PARDON? Death asked, something resembling surprise on his face.

"Yeah, she's the new Quester, she is. Smart gal, drivin' Jareth bloody mad. Turnin' the whole labyrinth upside down." The librarian said, chuckling.

IS SHE NOW? Death asked.

"Let's just say that my money's on her. Jareth's a bloody idiot if he thinks that he can win."

THAT'S MY SUSAN. Death said fondly.

The librarian nodded. "You've got good reason to be proud of her. Got a good head on her shoulders, she does."

YES, HE PARENTS MADE SURE OF THAT. IT MAKES IT INCREASINGLY DIFFICULT FOR HER TO ACCEPT CERTAIN ASPECTS OF MY JOB.

The librarian chuckled. "I'm sure it does. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get out of here as quickly as possible."

OH, OF COURSE. MY APOLOGIES. Death said before swinging his scythe above the librarian's head, and immediately the small elderly goblin began to fade, until he had completely disappeared.

Death looked down at the body of the librarian, and then at the door of the library. He could sense the struggle going on between Susan and the powerful being that ruled this labyrinth. He could not interfere, no. But he sensed that Susan was struggling. It appeared that the King of the labyrinth was attempting to smother Susan's powers. He was doing a very poor job of it, but he was preventing her memories from coming in. Well, that was against the rules.

With a wave of his hand, Death felt the Goblin King's weak grip on Susan's power snap, and he grinned. It couldn't be called meddling if he was playing referee, now could it?

* * *

"Tick tock, Sweet Susan. You're almost out of time." The Goblin King taunted, smiling.

Susan had no idea what to do. She hadn't the foggiest idea what the Goblin King's name might be, and she had less than five minutes left.

_Come on, he _must_ have said his name at some point! _Susan thought desperately.

And suddenly, a memory came to Susan, clear as if it had happened only tomorrow. She seemed to be in her room back at the Gaiter's residence, and the Goblin King was standing in front of her, leaning against her wall, his usual smug grin on his face.

"Susan, _must_ you insist with the formalities? I do believe we are familiar enough with each other to skip that. Please, it's Jareth." He purred.

Susan blinked, and decided to dwell on the memory and its implications later. Instead, she raised her eyes to meet those of the expectant Goblin King.

"Yes?" he asked, grinning smugly.

"Jareth," she said simply.

The Goblin King's eyes opened wide, and he stared at her incredulously.

"How –"

"Give me Gawain," Susan said, stepping foreward.

"Susan, please understand –"

"Save it. I've solved your labyrinth. I've made it through your Goblin City. I didn't come for a social call, I came for Gawain. Now give him back."

"Susan, can't see that I've done all of this for you?"

"I don't give a damn, Goblin King. You think you're the only one with a free will around here? Think again. My will is just as strong as yours."

"Susan, all I ask is that you let me rule you –"

"And you think that your labyrinth is special? You think your world is great? My world is on the backs of four elephants, who happen to be riding on the shell of a giant turtle!"

"Just love me Susan. That's all I ask!"

"When will you learn, Goblin King? I've beaten you! You have no bloody power over me!"

Jareth stared at Susan, his face stricken, and the Escher room began to shake. Jareth tossed his crystal over to Susan, and instinctively she put her hands out to catch it. But it popped like a bubble the instant it brushed her fingers, and with a yelp, Susan fell through the floor.

* * *

Death knew immediately when Susan won. The whole labyrinth sang with her victory. That permanent grin plastered onto his face, he nodded.

WELL DONE, SUSAN.

* * *

She didn't know for how long she fell. All she knew was that it was dark, and that she was still falling. Eventually, she saw a sort of golden light below her, and it slowly grew larger and larger until she fell straight through it and onto her bed. Surprised, Susan sat on her bed for an instant before getting up and looking down at her dress. Concentrating, she changed it back to her governess' attire, and took her sword and made a motion like she was putting it in the folds of her imaginary cloak. The instant the hilt left her hand, it vanished. Satisfied, Susan then strode out of her room and towards Gawain's.

"Gawain?" Susan called, opening the door. And there he was, sitting on his bed, looking like he had just dropped out of the ceiling. His head turned at the sound of her voice, and he immediately jumped off the bed and ran over to Susan, hugging her tightly.

"Susan!" Gawain exclaimed.

"Oh, thank goodness," Susan exhaled, crouching down and returning Gawain's hug, stroking his dark curls.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"Uh-huh. Those goblins didn't hurt me. They were pretty stupid. And the man with all the glitter wasn't too scary either." Gawain said.

"That's good," Susan replied.

"He spied on you a lot."

"Really,"

"Uh-huh. Though he called it 'checking up on.' And he actually started singing and dancing, too."

"Did he now,"

"Yep. Something about a baby and a magic dance."

"Susan? Is that you?" a voice asked, a small head peaking through the door.

"Twyla!" Gawain exclaimed, running over to his sister and embracing her.

"The goblins didn't eat you!" Twyla cried.

"Susan saved me," Gawain said.

"Thank you," Twyla said, looking up at Susan.

Susan nodded. "Yes, well, I think that's plenty excitement enough for tonight. Time for bed, you two." Susan said. To which Twyla and Gawain both gave cries of protest.

"But I just got back!"

"Susan, do we _have_ to?"

Susan sighed. "Alright; you two can have half an hour to catch up. But then it's off to bed." Susan said sternly.

"Yes, Susan." They both replied obediently.

Nodding, Susan retreated out of Gawain's room, closing the door behind her. She walked back to her room and heaved a sigh as she closed her bedroom door. She was tired. Solving the labyrinth of an egotistical Goblin King could do that to a person.

Walking over to her bookshelf, Susan took one of her texts and sat down on her bed, opening the book. She would stay awake until the Gaiter's were back. She would keep Twyla and Gawain safe.

Outside of Susan's window, perched on a nearby tree, a snowy barn owl watched Susan intently, its mismatched eyes never leaving her face.

She was wrong if she thought she'd seen the last of the Goblin King. Dead wrong.

* * *

Woohoo! The last chapter is done! *wipes sweat beads off of forehead* It feels so good to get that chapter out of the way! I had lots of fun writing it, just saying. Got to say my favorite character to write was Jareth. Him and the librarian. And now, I have a very important question for you guys: should I write a sequel? What do you think? I've certainly left opportunity for it. And I'd certainly love to revisit this story and add on to it. Expand the relationship between Susan and Jareth, reintroduce the Feegles, maybe have some more characters from Discworld show up. Got to say, I really want an excuse to write the Luggage, and find a way to put Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg into Ankh-Morpork. So, please, indulge in my need for creative outlet and insist that I write a sequel. PLEASE! And REVIEW! This is the last chapter! If you haven't already reviewed, at least review the LAST CHAPTER so I know what you thought of the story! PLEASE!

~FantasticMisticalWonder


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